NAKED ROCK BAND FTW

I don’t know about you guys, but when I go visit my parents and my mom wants to have “family time” …..we drink Arnold Palmers and play Scrabble. Fully clothed, might I add.

-Elise

RODDY BOTTUM DISHES ON COURTNEY LOVE’S FAITH NO MORE DAYS

Courtney Love used to sing for Faith No More. It was always this odd factoid that was thrown around every once in a while. But for whatever reason, it never seemed real to me. Well, I can’t really say that anymore. VH1 recently aired an episode of their ‘Behind the Music’ documentary series on the ‘Love’-ly lady herself and they even got a few words in from Roddy Bottum on the whole situtation. And uhhhh….if I’m to believe that those two banged uglies, then him being gay now makes perfect sense. (The FNM part starts at 3:10.)

Anyway, Courtney was out of the band almost as quickly as she was in, and I guess they found Chuck Mosley not too much later. And they all lived happily ever after. Then that other guy came in and ruined everything. (snort, snort)

-Elise

PENTAGRAM WIFEY CAN HAZ STYLE BLOG

Since the days of Lennon and Ono, it seems like rockers’ loved ones have a tendency to come off as a bit annoying. This is very much the case for Hallie Liebling, the very young wife of Pentagram frontman Bobby Liebling. I recently discovered that the Mrs had a style blog called Halcoholic. She basically just dresses herself in funky outfits and takes pictures.

I’m not typically one to judge another’s relationship or marital bliss, but I could tell right off the bat that this is the type of thing that Pentagram fans would find super irritating. Besides Boston Terriers, there really isn’t anything more hipster-ish than a style blog. And after reading a recent post on this topic over at Illogical Contraption, it’s clear that doomsters believe this relationship has made Bobby take a turn for the worst: musically and physically. Shelby Cobras writes:

Bobby is currently in the middle stages of the ultimate dignity-free cash-grab, and it appears that our hard-earned concert dough is funding some trust-fund bimbo hipster’s Endless Summer. That’s not cool, man.

Well…to each their own. Sometimes we do crazy things for love. If it’s a heavily accessorized lady that makes you happy, then I say roll with it.

Hmmm…kinda makes me wonder what other rock star wives could blog about. Like Perla Hudson? Or Mariqueen Maandig Reznor?

At any rate, aren’t chicks that blog *sooooooo* annoying, you guys? :)

-Elise

WAIT, SO THIS ISN’T A JOKE?

Uh, so when Elise first posted about this band, I really thought they were just another new band to make fun of for a second and that was it. But as I was walking through the mall this weekend, I passed by Hot Topic and noticed that right next to their “Free Weezy” t-shirt was an ENTIRE DISPLAY of Black Veil Brides shit, and posters everywhere advertising their album. The fact that they’re in Hot Topic doesn’t shock me, but the extent to which their being advertised there set me back a second cause that means… they have an actual audience. People LIKE that CRAP?

I have full confidence in you to watch for yourself, but if you want to save yourself the idiocy, it’s like Poison meets Attack Attack! with a hint of My Chemical Romance (which is nothing I’d ever be interested in) and this whole androgyny thing isn’t intriguing at all. It just makes me think you’re a bunch of weirdos. There was a time for that, and it was called 1984. I’m afraid to know what tweens (AND teens for that matter) are listening to these days…

-Julia

WHAT MILEY CYRUS WEARS WHEN SHE ‘RUNS TO THE HILLS’

pic via Jezebel

So uhhh…. I’m only posting this because I know this is the sort of thing that makes people mad for no reason. 

I don’t really understand why people get so bent out of shape when they see a celebrity wearing a band t-shirt. I mean, celebrities listen to music, too. And even though I doubt Miley’s heard their entire discography or anything…it’s Iron Maiden. They’ve sold millions upon millions of albums. They just sold out Madison Square Garden a few weeks ago. (As I’m sure they have many times before.) So like, I’m pretty sure lots of people have heard of them. Even tween stars.

Also, it’s now possible to go and pick up an Iron Maiden shirt somewhere as easily accessible as Urban Outfitters. And as much as many of you might be inclined to call someone a “poser” for buying a shirt under those circumstances…what about the bands? I mean, I’m no lawyer or anything, but doesn’t Iron Maiden have to *approve* something like that? Like, doesn’t the band have to sign off on giving someone rights to their logo? Maybe it doesn’t make the consumer a “poser” as much as it makes Iron Maiden seem like a bunch of sell-outs. But then again, I DGAF….it’s just Iron Maiden. No skin off my nose if they know what’s gonna make them more bank. More power to them.

Maybe I’d be a little bit more put off by a celeb in a band tee if it were something more obscure or unusual. If I see Selena Gomez wearing a Mercyful Fate shirt, then I’ll think somethin’ is up. But let’s face it, an Iron Maiden shirt is about as safe as a classic black tee.

Anyway…Ms. Cyrus was also recently seen rockin’ Cheap Trick and Bowie shirts. Whatever. She just bein’ Miley…

-Elise

GUITARS FOR THE VERTICALLY CHALLENGED

It seems like every time I turn around, someone is coming up with some way to create an instrument that only *resembles* playing the guitar. I don’t get it. Does no one want to learn an actual instrument anymore? Anyway, the latest example I’ve encountered are these high-heeled shoes by Chicks on Speed with functioning electric guitar strings built in. I mean, I guess it’s cool you can play music on these bad boys, because I sure as hell couldn’t walk in them. 

Guys…is this sexy? Would you want your lady to wear these? Maybe when it was naughty time? Did I really just type “naughty time?” Do you kind of wish they weren’t in a 3OH!3 color scheme and came in a classic black instead? How many of you gals reading would put these monstrous things on and still be nowhere near as tall as me? I’m guessing most of you.

via BLOGUE

-Elise

NON-METAL (BUT KINDA METAL) INFLUENCES

I’ve been pretty mellow and low-key lately and I’ve been matching my music choices to my mood. There’s not a whole lot of mellow metal out there, at least not a lot I like (ugh ISIS, FML), so I’ve been channeling those moods elsewhere. Enter stage left, Johnny Cash.

Anyone that’s heard his cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt” knows what I’m talking about here. I could listen to that song five times a day, everyday, and I think it would still hit as hard every time. And if “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die” isn’t just as brutal as “I wanna rip you wide open just to see what you’re made of”, I don’t know what is. 

More importantly, I don’t think there’s a metal band out there that doesn’t have mad respect for the OG Man in Black, if not notably influenced by him. We all know metal’s (bloody) roots lie in classical, blues, and jazz music, and most of us have musical interests outside the genre. It’s not a question of “What kinda of music do you like? …besides metal” but rather, what non-metal artists are actually kinda metal after all?

-Julia

STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: CASIO….FUELING CHICK METAL BANDS SINCE 1995

Why do the assholes in the world seem to find the most perfect material to fuel their hatred? How many terrible chick bands will just fall into my lap, just BEGGING for me to taunt them? I almost feel bad for making fun of chicks as much as I do. Almost. Curious as to what I have stumbled upon? Well, here we go:

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THE WORD ON WARPED TOUR

So uhhh….I went to Warped Tour, you guys. I know, you’re all “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?” Well, truth be told, I was totally down with going this year. There are quite a few bands I actually like on it. But when the ol’ ball and chain just so happens to work for Warped Tour, you *definitely* go…..you definitely go THREE TIMES. Yes, everyone, I sweated off half my body weight at the Hartford, Long Island, and Oceanport dates. I managed to take quite a bit in: whether that be the bands, the skanky 15 year old girls or the piles upon piles of neon t-shirts, Warped certainly has a lot to offer.

I was fortunate enough to catch a bunch of behind-the-scenes action, and all band/groupie gossip aside, I gotta say that this tour is a fucking hustle. I was worn out after three days of Warped chaos, but the people who work/perform at this do it almost every day for about two months. Where they get the energy, I will never know, but I give them all the credit and respect in the world.

Anyway, let’s get to the good stuff. I saw a lot of bands. Some of which y’all probably like, and some of which y’all probably love to hate. But mostly ones y’all just….hate. Whatever. Here’s the lowdown on the heavier acts on the bill:

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BAD GROUPIE FASHION

I’m not a big fashionista or anything, but as I always like to say: “I don’t wear ugly shit.” BLOGUE seems to suit my limited interest in fashion since it’s never too snooty and they frequently post a lot of stuff that with a cool “rawk” aesthetic. But they boggled my mind recently when they posted these flared lace pants (by With Hearts in My Eyes) paired with an old skewl Metallica tee.

Now I’ve seen some horrendous choices of apparel at shows, but holy bejeez WHO WOULD WEAR THESE?? I’d say Lady Gaga or someone, but let’s face it: they’re way too conservative. I’m unsure as to whether or not any legit female Metallica fan is anywhere near skinny enough to pull these off. But then again….if they still give a fuck about Metallica, they probably have no shame anyway.

Ladies, would you wear these? ….SRSLY?

-Elise