March 2011
1 post
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KOME TO KRAZY FEST!
We now interupt this blog-that-I-don’t-really-update-anymore to bring you a very special message from some very nice people putting together a festival down in Louisville, KY. This may or may not be up the alley of most of the people who happen to read this blog, but definitely worth mentioning as far as I’m concerned.
Krazy Fest will be held May 20-22, 2011 at Expo 5 in Louisville,...
January 2011
6 posts
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THIS MANU CHAO COVER MIGHT JUST HAVE RESTORED MY...
It’s probably only funny if you know the original. Thanks, Cold Snap….whatever you are. -Elise
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OHAI, NONCHALANT METAL BABY
I’m not going to lie to you people. The lack of any good releases so far this year, combined with my waning interest in music altogether, means it will be slow around these parts. We all have lives, money to make, etc.
But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share this with you. Some dude from a far away land (Ukraine, I believe?) taught his child how to do the metal horns....
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I DON'T REALLY CARE IF SEPULTURA REUNITE OR NOT,...
tweakin’ ain’t easy from Steven Healy on Vimeo.
I think I’m just going to try and nail it right in the title from now on. -Elise
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ARE *YOU* GOING ON THE "METAL" CRUISE???
Ever since the news broke a few months back about this 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise thingy, I’ve been somewhat fascinated by the whole ordeal. The cruise leaves on January 24th, and as the lineup slowly grows larger and larger, I’ve had a number of thoughts running through my mind:
SEASICK. METALHEADS.
What kind of security are they gonna have on this thing? Is someone’s job...
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AND THE PANTY RAID OF THE YEAR IS....
I bet you’re all going to think I rigged this since you all know this dude lets me write kewl stuff for him all the time….but yes, the winner of Panty Raid of the Year is none other that SERGEANT D!!!!!, who claimed just over 20% of the votes. I guess he’s not as “hated” as we all thought. Anyway…no, he doesn’t win anything, but I’m sure your kind...
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
INTERVIEWER: Crappiest moment in music in the last 30 years?
“Two words, Fred Durst” -Chris Adler
Happy new year! Hope 2011 is isn’t full of crappy moments.
-Julia
December 2010
10 posts
2 tags
IS THIS MIKE PATTON IMPRESSION AS 'AMAZING' AS IT...
The voice, the eyebrow movements, the shrugging, the facial hair…it’s all there. And this guy so accurately depicts Mike Patton as a slight dick. Pretty understandable, though. Let’s face it: Patton has a lot of idiot fans. ::Looks at self:: But hey, we’re at least better than the Dimebag dumdums. High five! -Elise
1 tag
WHO IS THE PANTY RAID OF THE YEAR 2010??
We figured it’d only be right to finish off this bit the right way. So….let’s refresh your memories as to who invaded our space this year: — Mr. January: Rich Hall <— He started this thing! — Mr. February: Sergeant D <— He gave you girly advice! — Mr. March: Daniel Cairns <— He made fun of you guys! — Mr. April: Islander...
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CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME
Not that I’d know or anything. But I at least got a day off from work yesterday. Christianity’s good for something, I guess. Elise Navidad! -Elise
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CHECK OUT MY FAV TWEEN JAMZ 2K10 ON...
Yup, I’m causing more tween mayhem on your favorite blog, Stuff You Will Hate. Check out what tween hits I was digging this year, and be sure to share yours!
Click here to see my list.
-Elise
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ELISE'S BEST OF 2010
Don’t ice me, fool. Why am I writing this? You’ve already scrolled down to my #1, didn’t see The Ocean or any Profound Snore bands, rolled your eyes and x’d out the window. Well gee golly, I gotta fill this space with something. So uhh, yeah….2010, what a hoot. A lot was gained in terms of love, friendships, and new interests, but an increased appreciation for metal?...
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JULIA'S BEST OF 2010
It’s cliched, I know, but this year really did go by quick. Let’s see, last year at this time I was freshly back home with my parents (if I remember correctly, I finished my end of the year list the very night that I packed up out of Brooklyn and came home), and trying to decide my next move. I know that I promised a lot more writing this year, and that I...
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ANGELA GOSSOWSKI'S TOP HOWEVER MANY ALBUMS I HAD...
Oh hai, 2011. You crept up fast. This year was…interesting. Metalwise, there were some great albums, but honestly, not enough for me to make a full top 10. Listen, I can hear you bitching right now. Stop it. Shut-up. Why do I only have 7 albums? Well it’s not because I don’t believe there were 10 great albums this year, it’s the fact that I just didn’t get to listen to every fucking thing...
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CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS ARE METAL... OR PLASTIC
Found this little gem around the interwebs just now and I must have it. Reminds me that I need to start collecting some ornaments so I can make my own little mish-moshed metal Xmas tree someday. I don’t think I’d mind putting these on my tree either:
How do you put the metal into YOUR holiday cheer?
-Julia
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MORE HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR THE MUSIC LOVER IN YOUR...
I must say, I gave Mr. Suarez’s holiday gift guide an uproarious applause yesterday. But lately I’ve been obsessed with this website UncommonGoods.com, and they definitely have a few good music-related gift options, including these guitar string bracelets ($10) pictured above. I would wear these myself, but I don’t play guitar, so it seems kind of dumb. But if another ladypal...
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PANTY RAID! MR DECEMBER IS… GARY SUAREZ OF...
Ahhh, Christmas: that magical time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus by arguing over whether or not Wal-Mart greeters should be allowed to say Happy Holidays. Now if, like me, you’ve got metalheads in your family—filthy, vile creatures—and you want to make sure you do right by them this Yule-tide season. So here am I—America’s greatest living music...
November 2010
15 posts
4 tags
A LIT BIT OF PRE-CHRISTMAS NAUGHTY AND NICE: METAL...
For the most part, us metaloids are a fan of the naughty. But naughty in a good way. Naughty fun, like boozin it up, goin’ CAHRAAAAZAAAYYY at shows, and being a part of all things dark and brooding. But it’s nice to know that most of us have a nice side too. Exhibits A and B below:
THE NAUGHTY
Motorhead fan Andrew Crawford was beaten to...
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BRIAN POSEHN LIVES THE 'SUITE LIFE'
Years ago, I thought Brian Posehn’s standup was pretty funny. But then he became the “metal comedian,” inked a deal with Relapse, and writes dumdum hits like “More Metal Than You.” So nowadays…..I can’t be bothered.
But last night on Disney Channel’s The Suite Life on Deck, Posehn proved he wasn’t too “metal” to give tweens a...
3 tags
BLACK METAL CROCHET; SASHAY
I’m waiting for my pumpkin cheesecake to get out of the oven and I found this cute wittle guy over at good ol’ BuzzFeed. Maybe you could all try making one of these this weekend while you’re ignoring your dad yell out dramatically incorrect Jeopardy answers. And then you could give it to Abbath when he comes back to the US this Winter. I’m sure he’ll love it.
Happy...
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A METAL DIDDY FOR HIS KITTY
Every woman wants to feel this loved.
via BuzzFeed -Elise
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A REALITY SHOW ABOUT A ROCK VENUE?
I recently came across this video through some people I know back home. It’s some sort of reality show “preview” about the staff that works for The Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY, which I know as my “hometown venue.” I’m not sure how much of this is real, or if any of it at ALL is real, but there’s definitely some potential here. Between the dumbshit...
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WHAT- IS THIS CRAP
You know me, I’m down with my fellow female metal-ists. But, I came across this atrocity on the interwebs a couple days ago and it’s still giving me nightmares. No need to watch the whole thing, the first 60 seconds will give you the idea just fine. I’m a fan of the awkward “Simon Says” clapping in the beginning myself…
Damn, this is awful. Happy...
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VIKING METAL....FROM INDIA?
I saw Abigail Williams once last Summer and noticed they had a shirt that said “NORTH AMERICAN BLACK METAL.” And while I’m not much of an Abigail Williams fan, or a fan of the “trve kvlt blvk metvl” altogether, I couldn’t help but wonder about the shirt. Was it a joke? Or were they really trynna act like dey shit wuz bettah or sumtin’?
So now I wonder a...
6 tags
SONGS I LIKE BY BANDS I DON'T
Here’s one I’m sure everyone can relate to: Name some bands that you’d say you don’t really like much at all, but they have that *one* song that you actually do kinda dig. Most of the songs on my list don’t exactly dig too deep into the bands’ catalogs, but are rather tracks that were used as singles/videos. I mean, I’m flat out telling you I don’t...
2 tags
FAYGO. CUPCAKES.
I’m really over the whole Juggalo thing nowadays, but I always found it funny that Faygo never wanted to sign any sort of endorsement agreement with ICP. I would never know what this stuff was if it weren’t for them. They don’t sell Faygo any place I know of around here, and from what I hear…it’s pretty disgusting. But I suppose the fine people at Faygo wanted to...
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HEY ALL YOU LAME 'METAL VEST' WEAR-ERS OUT THERE
Where does your heart beat now, huh??
via Buzzfeed
-Elise
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WHY DOES STEVEN TYLER GET TO JUDGE SINGING?
SRSLY? I hope this at least means that Steven Tyler will be the weird drugged out one this season of American Idol in place of Paula. Cuz daaaaamn, that man ain’t got nuffin’ to say about no one’s sangin’. -Elise
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REIGN IN BLONDE DOES #SPORTS!
Oh hey, I’m a dick. Forgot to mention a while back that Angela and I have been playing Fantasy Football against some other bloggers on The Number of the Blog. The most shocking part about this is that I’M NOT LOSING (I’ve had some help). And Angela is doing pretty damn well too. So uhh…yeah, check out all the “action” over here.
To be honest, between this and...
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KORN WITH AN AZN 'TWIST'
The explanation of this on YouTube reads:
Synopsis: An in-depth look into the stereotype of Asians expected to be superior in mathematical performance. The history, origins and effects of this notion are explored in this case study of two Asian males studying mathematics in a controlled environment.
I remember having a younger “excelled” student in my Pre-Calculus class when I...
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DEVIN TOWNSEND IS MEAN
Last Wednesday, The Devin Townsend Project’s big headlining solo tour hit NYC, and I had a pretty good time. I mean, it totally wasn’t as good as the girly pop-punk show I hit up the night before….but hey, no one’s perfect. My one real complaint is that Devin Townsend appears to have mislead his NYC fans. During his encore, he told the crowd they were about to play...
1 tag
PANTY RAID! MR NOVEMBER IS....HUGH PLATT OF...
Let’ s be honest: metal fans are a bunch of elitist pricks who hate, hate, HATE anything and everything mainstream – even more so when something that’ s ostensibly “ metal” goes mainstream. Halloween used to be cool. Ghosts and Satan and horror and shit like that – Halloween used to sport a veneer of things that were “ metal” .. While kids today seem hell-bent on aping the wipe-clean...
October 2010
11 posts
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HAPPY JULIA-WEEN!
For all the fun haters who still don’t know, today is Halloween, but it’s also Julia’s birthday so make sure to wish her a happy one. And since I saw a Misfits cover band last night, here’s one I like by Volbeat:
Angelfucks for everyone! #srsly -Elise
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NEED A LAST MINUTE COSTUME? GO METAL OR GO HOME
Halloween is here! Seeing that my favorite day of the year is also my birthday, I’ve usually done fairly well with having a good, creative costume. But… this year not so much. With being so busy with work and well, life, dressing up for Halloween hasn’t been the top of my priority list. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t come up with a couple of...
2 tags
CHECK OUT MY NEW POST ON STUFFYOUWILLHATE.COM!
Things have been slow for me on here lately for a few reasons. One of them is because I’ve been working on a few “outside projects.” I just posted a little diddy on Stuff You Will Hate about a band I love (and you guys will obviously hate) called Hey Monday. Check it out here, and let me know what you think!
-Elise
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ANTHRAX DRUMMER CHARLIE BENANTE DESIGNED A TOY FOR...
While I was in Disney World this Summer, I discovered the wonderful world of vinyl toy collecting. Disney recently(ish) started an exclusive vinyl toy line called Vinylmation that you can only get inside the Disney parks. They’re 3-inch figures (all with Mickey Mouse ears) sold for $10 each in blank boxes, so you don’t ever know which one you will get until you open it up. If...
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BUY MY FAITH NO MORE TICKET!
A few weeks ago, I bought a ticket to Faith No More’s show for 11/30 @ The Hollywood Palladium. There was a chance I was actually going to be able to venture out there. I was going to make a cute little trip of it and go to Disney Land and Lego Land and all that mess, too. Well, it’s not looking like a possibility anymore, so I gotta get rid of this ticket I have lying around.
...
4 tags
TAYLOR MOMSEN BLAH BLAH BLAH
By now, I assume most of you have seen the cover of this month’s (and annual “Hottest Chicks in Metal Hard Rock” issue) of Revolver mag. Either you know who Taylor Momsen is or you don’t, but if you’re one of the latter she’s a model turned actress- now turned rock band front not a girl, not yet a woman best known for her role on...
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IT AIN'T ALL ABOUT GHOULS AND GOBLINS
October is my favorite month of the year, as is the fall season in general. Halloween is also a given. Last year we did a little hoedown of a bunch of songs to get in the holiday spirit, but this year I’m finding the scary in less obvious places. Behold: some of the eerie songs that have been getting me in the mood for my favorite day of the year:
...
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TEN SONGS FOR 10.10.10
It’s 10.10.10 y’all! A perfect 10! Ain’t life grand?? I’m actually home this weekend with my parents and have nothing to do. So why not post something useless? Here’s 10 songs for 10.10.10. Some of them are actually good, too! Enjoy…
Disturbed - “Ten Thousand Fists”
Pantera - “10’s”
Ten Yard Fight - “Hardcore...
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SONGS FOR THE DEAF
I’ve never really understood the point of sign language interpreters at large concerts. They cater to people who are *deaf*, and can’t even hear the music that surrounds the lyrics to songs, anyway. But I guess with their help, the hearing impaired can decide the kind of music they like based on the words and how the band looks. In which case…man, Whitechapel is screwed, huh?...
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EMBARRASSING STORY WINNER REVEALED!
Thanks for all the responses, guys. Jeez, I was right. You all *have* done some dumb crap. But I gotta say, my favorite story came from a reader who identified himself as “Matt.” His story was as follows:
I had just started a new job in a different part of the country. Life was lonely and I helped keep myself sane by going to lots of shows. One of those shows was Primus and GOOD...
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PANTY RAID! MR OCTOBER IS....JAYSON OF...
I’m Jayson, some of you have heard of me. I’m the guy that did the logo here. I’m also one half of To Eleven. The good half. Anyway, it’s October and that means Halloween. That means it is time for my Halloween mixtape. Years ago I was trapped in a car with some hippie friends listening to their ‘Halloween mixtape’ which was some 290 minute long song about...
September 2010
15 posts
2 tags
TELL YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CONCERT STORY
They say a little public humiliation is a good way to stay humble. Plus, I’m always up for a funny story. So here is the challenge: Tell me the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you at a show. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a metal show, but there’s just something about the wide array of people at concerts combined the seemingly endless supply of alcohol and...
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DOES EVERY DAMN FEMALE METAL SINGER NEED TO MAKE A...
Maybe I’m not the best person to address such a topic, on account of me tending to very much dislike most foo foo female-fronted metal bands, but dear lord what is going ON here??! Every time I turn around, it seems like another female singer is putting out/working on a solo album. In general with bands (not just metal ones), there always seems to be this weird perception of female fronted...
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ARE *YOU* MR. OCTOBER??
Since the beginning of our adorable little “Panty Raid” series, I’ve been badgered month after month by you kiddies for a spot. But for whatever reason, no one has come forth for October yet. What the dilly, guys? I thought this was everyone’s favorite month!
Since we’re getting down to the wire here, the first person to send me something (original!) that...
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THANKS FOR THE SEGUE NERGAL...
Since Nergal announced that he was fighting Leukemia, the metal community has been in a tailspin, but in a good way. The awareness of bone marrow donation has significantly increased and bone marrow drives are popping up all over the place in support. KEEP DOING THIS. But also…
Don’t forget about how easy it is to give blood too. Yes,...
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SCREW YOU AND YOUR AC/DC COVER
“Highway to Hell” is definitely one of those songs that a lot of people try to cover until it’s just friggin’ overkill. But I think these Ukrainian guys just toooold all-a-y’all. So grab a bowl of borscht, and enjoy! -Elise
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AVENGED SEVENFOLD LOOK LIKE A PENIS
I found this little gem over on BuzzFeed. There’s not much to say. The audio waves of the new Avenged Sevenfold song quite resemble a most beloved male body part, and the nice gentleman that commented below pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Way to go, guy.
-Elise
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THE ROCKY ROAD TO DOOM ARE MY NEW (OLD) FAVORITE...
A few weeks ago, my good buddy Stabitha linked me to this post over on Everything is Terrible!, and I’m a fool for just getting to it now because this is madness! HEAVY METAL MADNESS! So they say, anyway…
Apparently this is an old clip from the Disney Channel show Kids Inc. The little girl on the far right with the greenish/yellow skirt is none other than Stacy...