September 2009
71 posts
4 tags
GOD I LOVE THIS STUFF
Have I mentioned my love for Jager? WELL, I love it.
If you’ve ever been to a bar in your life, you most likely seen one of these:
Pretty cool, no complaints about it. You can even get one of your own! That is, if you feel like spending MAD dollars on something that… pours. Although, it’s still a little pricey, behold a much BETTER alternative: The Jagermeister COOLER
...
August 2009
39 posts
7 tags
THESE BLONDE BITCHEZ BE TRIPPIN' Y'ALL
Can you people really blame me for the all femme metal bashing I do? I’m convinced that so many of these chicks are out of their damn minds. Especially the blonde ones. I feel so…normal right now.
A couple weeks ago, Otep (bleh) got in this crazy online feud on The Gauntlet over health care reform. I suppose it’s not totally out of character for her, but here are some other...
2 tags
DEAR DIRGE WITHIN,
Might I suggest some Head & Shoulders? Amongst other things.
Good luck, or whatever…
-Elise
4 tags
LET THE MAN REST IN PEACE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE
As if Kurt Cobain hasn’t been rolling in his grave enough in the past few years… with Courtney Love being a freakin money grubbing WACKO, daughter Frances Bean walking around as his evil twin, and Krist Noveselic’s balding head (get it, Elise?)… he’s probably rolled his way to Detroit by now. The last thing he probably wanted was to be made into a video game.
...
3 tags
NORWAY? YEAH WAY!
Slow news day(s) here on the RiB camp. We’ll try to do better next week. But for now…
There’s this kooky TV show in Australia called Chasers War. It’s kind of like their version of Jackass, except everyone talks more pretty….and people dress half and half? Sure, why not. [via Squizz.]
Did you know Norway is consistently rated the most livable country in...
2 tags
WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 8/26/09
It’s kind of funny that Julia can’t go online while she’s at work, because she never sees anything I post until she gets home at the end of the day. So today, for Wussy Wednesday, I’m blowin’ up her spot. Heeehehhehehehehh
Last week, Julia told me about her new favorite country band, Gloriana, but totally “wussed out” in actually posting them. ...
4 tags
'CAUSE TEXTING IS SOOOOOO BRUTAL
Speaking of tizzies, apparantly people are up in arms about a anti-texting-while-driving PSA from across the pond. Folks are saying that the vid is way too graphic and gory. Based on all the above, I couldn’t not watch it and see what it was all about, and because I’m feeling extra giving today, here it is for your viewing pleasure:
Now, here’s the thing- all you really...
2 tags
SING IT. SHRED IT. GET IT.
This recent post on GraphJam has gotten into a bit of a tizzy. Damn…do you people really have us all figured out?
Here is the entire list of everyone Julia and I have ever referred to on this site as a “hot metal dude”:
Mark Morton (Lamb of God)
Anders Friden (In Flames)
Dave Peters (Throwdown)
Kerry King (Slayer)
Zakk Wylde (Ozzy)
Scott Ian (Anthrax)
Mike...
5 tags
BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS
I have what you might call a mild hatred towards Perez Hilton. The guy is just annoying, can’t spell, and never knows what the hell he is talking about. (It’s respectively, asshole.) However, I support the shit out of him as a gay American. (That’s pageant language for those who don’t know.) Anyway, in honor of his new music tour, Ms. Hilton has launched this new...
3 tags
A ROCKIN' ROMANCE?
FYI: Any movie whose trailer begins with a twee-riffic actress declaring her love for The Smiths….is not a movie for me.
This weekend I came across an article from the LA Times about the “indie hit,” 500 Days of Summer. The key point, being:
“We always felt that every relationship has a soundtrack,” said Scott Neustadter, who co-wrote the film with Michael...
5 tags
EDIBLE ODERUS
Last week, I sang the praises of my new favorite metal site: Metalcakes. So since I (unfortunately) had to go to visit my parents’ house for the second weekend in a row, I decided to turn up the fun by trying out one of Kathy’s recipes. I chose the the Gwar Scumcakes of the Universe. I’m not even a huge Gwar fan, generally, but this recipe seemed to be the most chocolate-y,...
3 tags
MISS NORWAY IS MIS-INFORMED
Elise and I are WAY stoked for the Miss Universe pageant tonight. It’s the ultimate in pageantry- I mean, HELLOOOO Miss UNIVERSE here. While we wait and see whether or not our own Miss Usa falls during the evening gown competition for the third year in a row (see also: Thing 1 and Thing 2), there’s another element to this competition that sets it apart from all others: THE...
8 tags
TOP 5 CELEBRITIES THAT SHOULD BE METALHEADS
Ever meet someone new and think to yourself “God, this person is so awesome/chill/hot, but… if only they were into metal. Then they’d be perfect!”? I know that this happens to me quite a bit, especially when I meet you dudes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met great guys- tall, bearded, mysterious… and then they say “I’m really into...
3 tags
THE BR00TAL TR00TH - GARY
Get ya hot nuts, here! It’s time for yet another installment of THE BR00TAL TR00TH, and boy did we get it this time. Today, we have zeroed in on MetalSucks’ spring chicken Gary Suarez, to hash over true party music, his “favorite” albums of this century, as well as his impeccable sense of fashion. Check out his posts on MetalSucks. Follow him on Twitter. Go read some...
3 tags
READ THIS BOOK. KTHANKS.
Yes, I can read, you assholes…
I finally got my hands on Do The Devil’s Work For Him- for some odd reason it was very hard to find in stores so I had to order it from Amazon- and basically…
IF YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW AND WANT TO WORK IN THIS MUSIC INDUSTRY, BUY. THIS. BOOK.
I was lucky enough to meet Ms. Sciarretto at the Metal Insiders Summit this past April...
2 tags
PLEASE HELP BRIAN FAIR
For several years now, Brian has been making music with his band, Shadows Fall, showcasing his one true talent: hair flipping. He’ll showboat every which way, making any sort of displeasing noises he needs to, just to get people to notice.
Please contact L’Oreal immediately and request that they give him an endorsement deal. It’s time that he finally quit his banal day...
5 tags
IDOL ON THE ROCKS, PLEASE
My favorite reality competition show is currently in its off-season, but the news sure has been piling in lately. Much to my dismay, Paula Abdul was recently given the axe from the judge’s panel, supposedly over money issues. Idol is now filming auditions for next season in various cities and they’ve been bringing in all sorts of random celebrity guest judges to fill Paula’s...
3 tags
WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 8/19/09
Since I believe I’ve been showing my wussiness in spades as of late- from my previous WW’s to my lame-o lack of blogging- I’m going to go easy on you and myself this week by being just wussy enough without overdoing it.
Here’s the deal: At my job we normally listen to your typical “80’s, 90’s and today” “lite” FM kinda station. I have...
3 tags
HAVE ALESTORM WALKED THE PLANK??
There are a few principles that I prefer to live my life by:
People ain’t shit.
Shit happens, or doesn’t happen. Don’t force it.
Don’t be a douchebag.
If you’re good at one thing, ROLL WITH IT.
The one in question for this post is #4. If you’re really hot, but really dumb, it’s alright…go be a model. If you’re a group of not very...
3 tags
RiB PARENTS: HOW BRUTAL ARE THEY REALLY?
If you read our FAQ’s, you know that we are frequently asked if we like metal because of our parents. That’s a big NO from both of us. However, I’ve noticed of as late that at least my parents aren’t as “un-metal” as I’ve always considered them. Maybe I don’t give them enough credit… Here’s my evidence:
Dad
Had (“had” in...
4 tags
HEY SWEET THANG, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE
Holy f’ing shit you guys. I’ve previously mentioned on here my love for baking and how I wanted to devise a recipe for ‘Black Metal Cake,’ (or really any metal sub genre). Well, guess what? IT EXISTS!
Metalcakes is a baking blog ran by a lovely lady by the name of Kathy Bejma from Chicago. She creates cupcake recipes inspired by all of her favorite bands including:...
7 tags
TOP 5 INAPPROPRIATE WEDDING SONGS
I’m going to a wedding tomorrow, and at first I pondered the idea of doing a list of my own preferred wedding songs. But since I’m not one of those wackjob bitches who pick out baby names when they don’t even have a boyfriend, I decided against it. Let’s face it, besides a few classics, metal is really not suited for the first day of marital bliss. Your parents are...
2 tags
TWEEN SCENE, PREFERABLY NOT HEARD
[via OhNoTheyDidn’t]
So it seemed like all you dudes shat your pants when you found out tween star Demi Lovato was into metal. I already knew this because 1) I’m a huge dork, and 2) I’m a tween know-it-all. I have a Masters Degree in Media Arts. My thesis was on the tween market. I am every 10-year old’s wet dream. Hoo. ray.
So for all of you lesser informed,...
3 tags
...TOO EARLY FOR METAL?
I’m really getting used to this whole “post grad full-time job” thing (is that good or bad?). Part of this routine is a rather long subway ride first thing in the morning and early in the evening. It kinda goes without saying that after a long and completely unmetal day I look forward to listening to some brutal tunes on the way home as a means to relax. But what about in the...
7 tags
BOTTOM 5 METAL DUDES LIKELY TO GET A PIECE OF THIS
[Or at least the five I could think of for now…]
Oh, hello. Welcome to the most shallow blog in the entire metal blogosphere. Julia and I do our fair share of hot metal dude praise, but at the request of MetalSucks’ lovely lady, Angela Gossowski, I have put together a list that celebrates those at the other end of the spectrum. Now, I must say, this was no easy task, because I have...
2 tags
WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 8/12/09
I tell ya, kids. I have never owned an item of clothing that has started more conversations than my Tom Jones t-shirt. At the Pig Destroyer show (almost 2 weeks ago, now), Julia and I ran into some of the dudes outside the venue, who of course, questioned my motives: “Is that meant to be…ironic?” To set the record straight, NO. I absolutely love Tom Jones!
The guys...
7 tags
ANOTHER RANDOM TOUR LINEUP
What the hell is going on in the tour universe? First we had the strange (but still alright) Satyricon lineup for the fall, and now this:
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, SHADOWS FALL, OTEP, 2 CENTS
Five Finger Death Punch (ehh)
Shadows Fall (I’d dig it)
Otep (The opposite of 5FDP?)
2 Cents (…who?)
Seriously, who is putting these shows together? Are we just sticking band names in a hat...
2 tags
STOP IT, TEENYBOPPERS
Really, will someone explain to me the appeal of Kristen Stewart?
I personally refuse to get into any book series that has a cult-like following. I’ve never touched The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and definitely haven’t gone anywhere near Twilight. Kristen Stewart was seen at the Teen Choice Awards last night (so sad I didn’t catch THAT one) wearing this metal-esque...
7 tags
IS HOWARD JONES THE MALE MARIA BRINK?
[Alternatively titled: Is Maria Brink the Male Maria Brink?]
Last week, I stumbled upon an article on The Gauntlet written by a fellow bloggeroo, Spinelanguage. The post was on “Poser Bashing,” a very common topic these days. After skimming through the predictable mentions of Attack Attack!, Disturbed and Cradle of Filth, I came to the final pick: In This Moment, a band that I,...
7 tags
WHERE'S OZZY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?
Last night I got attacked by a bat. I’m serious. Good thing I have two killer cats at home and they eventually took care of it, but it was scary. EVEN METALHEADS GET SCARED SOMETIMES.
But it got me thinking. There are quite a few animal references in metal, but does anyone else think that it’s kinda weird that there aren’t more bat references? They are pretty dark and evil and...
3 tags
BIRTHDAY DEATHDAY
Except not so much on the Deathday. BUT…
IT’S ELISE’S BIRTHDAY TODAY SO EVERYONE SAY NICE THINGS :)
On another note, I’ve been slacking this week cause of my move to Brooklyn and such. I won’t have internet until tomorrow, (currently sitting in a Starbucks in Harlem using WiFi. Why Harlem? Don’t ask) and then I’ll be back commenting on stupid shit and...
2 tags
REIGN IN BLONDE FAQ'S
Since we’re all about borrowing ideas in the metal community….we figured we’d also give it a shot.
So…you’re chicks, who like metal?
Quite.
You don’t look like you would like metal.
That’s kind of the idea…
How did you come up with your name?
…really?
Do you two like Slayer?
Why on earth would you think that?
Are you natural blondes?
...
4 tags
SPOTTED: E&J SWEATING WITH FREEMASONS
I wasn’t going to bother doing a post on this since, I’m not a particularly vain person…not to mention the fact that we both look pretty disgusting in this picture. (It was about 150 degrees in that joint.) But to whoever this is…thanks! We now feel totally validated. Just imagine how we look on a good day!
You’re all totally jealous of my Tom Jones...
2 tags
WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 8/5/09
It’s my turn this Wednesday, and BOY am I a WUSS.
This week I feature one of the most depressing albums ever recorded, but as always I have a story behind it all. Lo and behold: Beck, Sea Change.
The story here is this: my junior year of college I had to take two semesters of studio recording and live concert recording. (Don’t ask me to record a demo for you, I still can’t wrap my head...
4 tags
MEGAN IN THE HAUUUUSERMAN
So Megan Wants a Millionaire made its big premiere this past Sunday on VH1. You may know Megan from the second season of Rock of Love, and Charm School, and as that bitch that Sharon Osbourne threw her drink on. Well, since VH1 is on a roll, why not give this ho her own show too?
I only caught the last 20 min or so, but I got the gist. Also, they repeat this crap 20 billion times, so I’m...
3 tags
WHAT I LEARNED IN COLLEGE, BY ELISE
Well kids, it’s August 4th already and The Gathering will soon be upon us….well, not me, but it will be for the majority of White Trash America. So if you’re sick of watching that damn infomercial that we all love so much, I’ve dug up some other material for you.
In college I took your typical ‘Intro to Media’ blah blah whatever bullshit. One day, I entered...
5 tags
PIG DESTROYER RULE & ATREYU BLOW: THINGS YOU...
Well, like many others have already stated, Pig Destroyer thoroughly rocked a large, sweaty crowd this weekend. Still glowing from it all, I have returned to my work week late (I played hooky yesterday), and have now been bombarded by news about the upcoming Atreyu album and tour. Anyone who has ever spoken to me, has probably heard my bitchfest about the time when I got stuck watching that...
3 tags
OMG OMG LOG!
LAMB OF GOD IS PLAYING WITH GWAR AND JOB FOR A COWBOY ON SEPTEMBER 22 IN MONTCLAIR, JERSEY. THIS HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AN EFFING AMAZING SHOW AND I NEED TO GO. Who’s with me???
-Julia
5 tags
PIGS DESTROYED? CHECK.
Last night was the big show in Brooklyn, and boy did we have a good time. So good of a time that I managed to only have about one and a half drinks and now my head is hurting. Here’s a quick recap of what else happened:
We learned that the Brooklyn Masonic Temple would be a much cooler venue if it was in fact, cooler. HOT. AS. BALLS.
BUT, the BMT earned extra points for letting anyone...