September 2009
71 posts
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WANNA BE A DOUCHEBAG FOR HALLOWEEN?
I just could not believe my eyes when I saw this in Duane Reade this afternoon:
Really? REALLY? We’re making Halloween costumes out of THIS GUY?
Well, if starts getting close to Halloween, and you find yourself in desperate need of a costume, just throw on an Affliction t-shirt and this wig and you’re good to go. Maybe I’ll even dig out my Daisy costume from last year and...
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MICHAEL JACKSON WALKS AMONG US?
Is it just me? Or do some images of Michael Jackson (especially this weird cross stitch thing) kind of remind you of old school Glenn Danzig? I’m not sure if either party would appreciate such a comparison…
… but it’s just a thought.
-Elise
**UPDATE: I NEED THIS SHIRT!!! Thanks, Kristin!
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WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 9/30/09
This weekend I’ll be heading back to my alma mater (again) for homecoming. GO ORANGE :)
Therefore, this week for Wussy Wednesday I wanted to really delve into my college past- well, what I can remember of it. Ahhh, to be young and get away with binge drinking at noon on a Thursday…
For some reason, my roommate Jenny would often get her buzz on and blast Crossfade’s...
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HE'S GONNA BE PISSED WHEN HE SEES THIS
I just found this picture on TMZ. That’s one of the dudes from Tokio Hotel on the left, and Axl Rose circa 1980 on the right. Then again…who’s really the bigger douche these days, anyway?
If you don’t know who Tokio Hotel are, you’ll get what I mean when you click here.
-Elise
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SORRY MOM, I SOLD MY SOUL TO AGALLOCH
Yesterday, much to my dismay, I had to do that whole Yom Kippur thing with my family. I tried to put on my best Jew face for my mother, but the most God-like thing to happen to me all day was sitting in the back of my Dad’s car, listening to Agalloch’s Ashes Against the Grain. I don’t know if I blacked out, or if I just fell asleep, but I arose completely refreshed and...
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YOU WANT IT, YOU GOT IT: PUSSY
Ok ok. So this new video from German rockers, Rammstein, sure does have everyone in a tizzy. I heard about it from the interwebs, but I didn’t really care to venture into it for my own because- I may be blonde, but I’m not stupid. The song/video is called “Pussy” and anywhere you go everyone is going bucknutty about how controversial it is. I...
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NOBODY'S PERFECT
My drunken bar conversations are quickly becoming the best inspiration for my posts. This weekend I presented the following question: “What was Mike Patton’s worst project?” I immediately broke out into a fit of laughter when my beered-up counterpart quickly responded with the same exact answer I had in mind: MALDOROR.
I honestly never even heard She until I was in...
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AWW LOOK AT THIS WITTLE GUY
It’s Yom Kippur. I’m not even supposed to be online right now, but I felt it absolutely necessary to share this new toy called Pandara, the Heavy Metal Panda, by Paul Shih. I’m not having kids anytime soon ever, so if any of you out there happen to get knocked up, I’ll be sure to have a few of these sent over.
Hmmm…sounds like another play on words...
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GET IT, TARA MCLEOD
In just a couple of hours, I’ll be seeing one of my old faves, Kittie at BB Kings in NYC. Before any show I attend, I make sure to overdose on all of that band’s music as a method of getting myself pumped. I was doing just that when I realized that current Kittie guitarist Tara McLeod has achieved the unthinkable: She is officially the second woman since Talena Atfield to be featured...
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BEARDS CAN MAKE A GIRL DO CRAZY THINGS
Sorry dudes out there, 1/2 of the RiB team is off the market. I found myself a beardo. Go figure. But to quote one of Elise’s and my favorite pasttime’s, “Relationships require compromise. Who’s? Yours or Theirs?”
My compromise? The very NOT brutal Keller Williams:
Yes, I’m serious. I’m gonna go see… that in a couple weeks. But it made me...
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"THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE" OF OTTAWA MIGHT HAVE SWINE...
I just got home from the gym where I watched my usual TMZ on TV, and they played this clip from Marilyn Manson’s show in Ottawa this past Sunday. Now, I definitely don’t condone people shooting their snot on others, but when it just so happens to be the night before you announce to the world that you have swine flu….that is just repulsive, disgusting, BLEHHHH. But...
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DO YOU NEED A RATIO TO GET IN?
I don’t know if I’m totally behind and out of the loop on this, but apparently there is something called a “Metal Frat” at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. Basically, it’s a big ass house that puts on shows all the time. It’s not so strange, considering I went to a college that was pretty big on basement shows….but I’ve never heard...
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I WISH SIMONE SIMONS WOULD "UNLEASH" ON ME
Yet again during my subway ride this morning, I got checked out by some butch lesbians. I mean no offense if any of you reading this happen to fall into that category, but I simply cannot accomodate you, and I apologize. (Helloooo….where the peen at?)
But let’s get one thing straight. If Simone Simons wanted to follow me around, like she’s following the guy in this...
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EVEN BABIES ARE BETTER THAN YOU, LARS
OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. CUTE OVERLOAD.
The good news: I was forwarded the cutest video of a 4 year old kid playing metal songs on the drums today.
The bad news: “Embedding disabled by request” LAME
BUT I CAN STILL LINK IT. Take that, YouTube.
This little boy does it all: Ozzy, Priest, SOAD, AC/DC, Nickelback, Kiss- wait, Nickelback? Ok, maybe not everything is so good,...
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SEBASTIAN BACH IZ A FATTY
Another washed up rocker is makin’ his way to reality TV fame. Color me stoked! I honestly can’t even remember the last time I saw Sebastian Bach, but he’s gotta be puttin’ ‘em on if he’s joining the cast of Celebrity Fit Club! Does anyone remember when he was on Celebrity Rap Superstar??
Why don’t they ask Dave Grohl to come on, too? He’s...
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I DO NOT WISH TO ESCAPE CONSENSUAL RELATIONS WITH...
Ever since last week, I keep heading on over to Lambgoat to listen to the new Horse the Band song, “Rape Escape.” I really really really really like it, but it actually seems a lot darker than most of the stuff they’ve done in the past. At first I thought…are HtB a serious band, now? This is nothing like their Pizza EP, and they definitely don’t have scissors on...
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QUICKSAND ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT
I got a little swoon-y at last night’s Dethklok listening party as I partook in all-out gushfest over Quicksand, one of the best bands in the world omggggg. I was too wee of a lass to know of them at the time they came out, but nowadays, I consider Walter Schreifels a post-hardcore deity.
Walter reunited his other jam, Rival Schools, a few months back, but nothing would be more monumental...
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RANDY BLYTHE WANTS TO FROLICK THROUGH A MEADOW OF...
I saw this video on MetalSucks yesterday, and I don’t know if anyone has ever mentioned this before, but it always seems like LoG’s singer is skippin’ to my loo all the livelong day. I know it must be hard to fill the space on a stage that massive, but I can’t help but giggle.
It’s like grade school gym class all over again when we’d have to travel to...
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HANUKKAH CAME A LITTLE EARLY THIS YEAR
I am not a religious person by any means, so you can imagine my Jewish mother’s delight when I told her I attended something called Major League Dreidel last December. The event is one part dreidel tournament (based on how long your spin lasts), and another part metal. That’s right…Jew metal.
A few of my friends are in a band called the Gods of Fire, who are not only the...
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WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 9/23/09
Jon Secada’s “Just Another Day” is just so damn painful. Ugh. Ya feel that? …no? Well, you’re a heartless prick. I don’t care if anyone hates any of the music that I love, but to say something negative about this song? That shit’s just personal.
Truth be told…if Reign in Blonde craps out, I might just start another blog that will...
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YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT
I’m too tired from last night to post anything legit today. I also don’t think this kid is emo, so I guess I better go fuck myself. [via BuzzFeed.]
-Elise
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I FOUND THE WHAAAALES
Well, I certainly had a pleasant evening last night…jam packed full of sweet breakdowns and kooky characters. Not to mention an injury. Oh hey, why don’t I whine some more? Here’s a brief rundown:
I don’t go to the Music Hall of Williamsburg very often, but I love it for one reason, and one reason only: AIR CONDITIONING. I’m always 20 degrees hotter than...
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ANOTHER REASON TO LIKE PIG DESTROYER
Seriously, dude? Metalheads don’t get swine flu. Man up!
-Julia
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DISNEY PRINCESSES ARE BRUTAL BITCHES
I know I know, where have I been? No, I didn’t fall off the edge of the earth (again), but I’m back and that’s what’s important. So quit your bitchin’. (Love you guyssssssssss)
ANYWAY, it looks like illustrator Jeffrey Thomas has drawn up a series of more brutalized Disney Princess characters, just for kicks. I myself have never understood the Disney and Disney...
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MIKE PATTON KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A BITCH SQUIRM
Remember that good ol’ high school feeling when you’d really really like someone and all they’d do is ignore you and/or flirt with other people besides you and it’d drive you f’ing nuts and you’d only want them MORE?? Waahhhhhh
So let’s get back to that whole Will Faith No More tour the U.S. / Will they not tour the U.S. thing. The band has been all...
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BE. VERY. AFRAID.
This is a warning for all of you. Another one of those Punk Goes… compilations is on the way. This time they’re doing classic rock songs. The full band/song list has yet to be released, but according to Absolute Punk, some dude who goes by the name nevershoutnever (spacebarsaresolameyouguyz) is taking on the beast that is “Bohemian Rhapsody.” I guess he at least...
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WHY NO MAN WILL EVER LOVE ME
-Elise
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PEARL JAM IS FOR THE CHILDREN
Ok, so maybe Eddie Vedder isn’t the last person I’d expect to see in front of the Target logo, but that kinda/sorta means he’s shared a stage with the Jonas Brothers now, and well…I think the scrunched up I-just-smelled-something-bad face that I am currently making pretty much sums it up.
Then again, remember that episode of Clarissa Explains It All when Clarissa...
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JUGGALOS + MAGGOTS = 2GETHER 4EVAR
I just found this video featuring a Juggalo and a Maggot making a plea to their “people” to come together and end their feud. Videogum writes:
Because as someone on the outside of this Shakespearean feud it’s just like, stop! Stop! You’re all terrible!
At first I was pissed that the indie community was stealing our Juggalo-bashing fun, but then I realized that...
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DAVE MUSTAINE = STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
And speaking of Led Zeppelin…there’s this cutesy named dessert joint opening up soon here in New York called Led Zeppole. So since we love a good play on words here at Reign in Blonde, my twin brother Gary Suarez and I have collabo’d on a list of dessert-themed band names:
Satyricake
Sconeverge
Mastodonut
Melt-Banana Split
Muffinntroll
Mesh-sugar
Pie Destroyer
Harvey...
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I'M STARTING A BOYCOTT
I am so sick of looking at this same damn t-shirt everywhere I go. I have absolutely no problem with anyone liking Led Zeppelin, but jeez louise, FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WEAR!
Like this.
-Elise
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THIS IS WHAT I CALL REGRETCORE
I don’t think I need to tell any of you how not metal the Dave Matthews Band are, but I found this video pretty funny, so I had to post it. [via BuzzFeed.]
I was a big on rock/alternative radio in pre/early teens, so I must admit that I dabbled in a bit of this “DMB” mumbo jumbo for a little while back then. Eventually things get weeded out. I’ve since...
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MY METAL WORKOUT
…yeah, that’s not me. Anyway, Metal Inquisition did a post today on Heavy Metal Jock Jamz. Pretty funny stuff, as usual. I, too, am a gym-goer. While I prefer watching TV when doing my cardio (TMZ ON TV, YESSSS), the ones at my ghetto ass gym are often broken, so I will sometimes just listen to music.
I must “regretfully” admit that I have no Brocore or...
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WUSSY WEDNESDAY - 9/16/09
First of all, this video is horrible, but it’s the only one I could find with the song I wanted. Eff you internet.
Regardless, this week’s Wussy Wednesday is a song from an album that helped shape my adolescence: “Daddy” from Jewel’s Pieces of You.
It IS called Wussy Wednesday, so prepare yourself for a little cheesiness right now. Pieces of You is an album...
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\M/ A X I P A D
The new Slayer artwork for World Painted Blood [courtesy of MetalSucks], indicates to me that the thrash gods appreciate their female listeners. What do you think?
-Elise
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SWAYZE WAS A LAMB OF GOD FAN?
…not quite.
Go to Youtube and type in “Patrick Swayze metal,” and this is the first thing that pops up. (I’m….retarded.) At the 2:10 mark, Randy gives a shout out to the (now) late Patrick Swayze and devotes the song “Now You’ve Got Something to Die For” to him. I think this video was shot shortly after Swayze was diagnosed with cancer in...
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THE BR00TAL TR00TH - KIM
[photo by Elizabeth Bruneau]
What could possibly be better than two blonde chicks writing a metal blog? Bringing a third one in to join in on the fun, of course. Ladies and gentlemen: the one, the only, ‘Grim’ Kim Kelly is in the building to weigh in on life overseas, her seldom-seen girly side, and her amazingly br00tal, yet tiresome schedule. Check her out at Terrorizer,...
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TAKE THAT, APOCALYPTICA!
TWO WORDS: HEADBANGING ORCHESTRA. Shit starts to get real good around the 2:45 mark. Hey guy in the middle, call me.
[via Cakehead Loves Evil.]
-Elise
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DEAR ZAKK WYLDE: DON'T DIE :(
See, people! This is why it’s important to give blood, metalheads need blood too! Get on it.
Anyway, Zakk Wylde has some kind of rare blood clotting disorder and has been in and out of the hospital as of late. I think it’s all the stress of his recent split with Ozzy. Breakin’ up is hard to do, but you’ve gotta take care of yourself Zakky-poo! Feel...
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THE VMA'S WERE METAL FOR ABOUT 0.2 SECONDS LAST...
Ok, I know everyone is sick of hearing about the VMAs. I think I’m more sick of hearing people bitch about people talking about the VMAs. (Does that make me post modern or something? ..no? OK..) I did a little livetweeting of it last night, because I was surprised to find that it was actually somewhat entertaining this year.
Jack Black and Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester came...
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GRINDCORE MAKES MAINSTREAM NEWS!
….but not for any reason you’d ever expect.
I went to college at Rutgers, a school famous for their local basement show scene. One Winter, much to the delight of a couple friends and I, the mighty Child Abuse graced good ol’ New Brunswick with their rockness. It was Winter break at the time, so not many people showed up. Seriously, I don’t think there were more than...
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MAX CAVALERA & CARRIE PREJEAN MIGHT HAVE COMMON...
So everyone knows about this stupid feud going on between Kerry King and Adam D of Killswitch Engage. I haven’t bothered to comment on it, because it’s, as I said, stupid. But then I read this quote from Max Cavalera over the weekend:
“I went to see LAMB OF GOD in that States and they were alright, but KILLSWITCH ENGAGE opened and it was the gayest show I’ve ever...
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REIGN IN BLOOD. DOWN UNDER.
Oh, I’m sorry. Good morning, all. Luckily for you, this report isn’t as gross as the title eludes to. But I got you to wake up, didn’t I?
Slayer will be performing Reign in Blood from start to finish. AWESOME. Not so awesome? They’re doing it in AUSTRAILIA of all places. Dude, none of you are Austrailian, and we Americans (and blondes and non-blondes) love you. Do it...
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SWEET BABY JESUS. OR ROB HALFORD.
I’m not quite ready to get in the Xmas/Hanukkah spirit (helllooooo we haven’t even gotten to Halloween yet. Calm down people) but I seem to be the only one excited to hear about a forthcoming CHRISTMAS album from our favorite gay, Rob Halford. I’m also probably the only one in the metal community who enjoys the Twisted Sister AND the star-studded (get that pun? STUDDED? Ugh,...
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NEVER FORGET
For those of you in America and especially in New York, today is a sad day. I know that ever year it chokes me up for sure. But, be as it may, we Americans are resilient and thus, we can’t dwell on the bad, but look to the present and the future. SO TONIGHT, WE DINE, IN HELL! And by hell, I mean that we’ll be out and about metal-ing in up in NYC at some bars with the rest of the...
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....AND SPEAKING OF THRASHIN'
It turns out Scott Weiland has a new clothing line out with English Laundry. I suppose it abides by all of my previous suggestions, but I’m going to have to veto the pink pants. Did Scotty forget that we’re not all quite as pretty as him?
Don’t forget the $59 matching tie. [via Blabbermouth.]
-Elise
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THRASHIN' WEEK
Man, doesn’t it suck when you have to go to your job and uh…actually work? …thus preventing me from having much playtime with you dudes today. Oh well.
Anyway, it’s all kind of boring news in the metal world today, but here in New York, it’s Fashion Week. I’m no big huge fashionista, but I certainly don’t wear ugly shit. Unfortunately, most of you...
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DEAD BY APRIL WISH YOU WERE HERE
Why even bother with the muted ‘dark and sinister’ color level when we can clearly see that beautiful oasis right behind you? Are you guys staying at the Mohonk Mountain House? BR00TAL.
Be sure to send me a postcard. Or was this it?
-Elise
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THEY'RE BAAAAAAACK
Remember our favorite femme metal tribute band?? They finally found new members! Soon enough, they’ll be rockin’ a Jersey bar near you. They have some new demos up on their MySpace which sound about as good as those karaoke booths at Six Flags. Is it just me, or is that chick always a beat or two behind? Not that it matters. Also, the NO’s on that Epica cover are dipped...
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THE DAY EVERYONE STOPS LISTENING TO ALICE COOPER
My subway car this morning was bustling with children in their ‘first day’ outfits. There were some very questionable choices. I saw a girl in head-to-toe purple, and another in Ed Hardy sneakers carrying a fuzzy backpack. Whatever, most of you don’t care about fashion. But earlier, I came across this:
[via.]
Who’s gonna be my date to the homecoming dance??
-Elise