March 2010
42 posts
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STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: TANGENTS...A SIDE PROJECT...
I feel like shit today. My head hurts, I ate Mexican yesterday which is DESTROYING my asshole, and I spent the entire $40 I had to my name on Coors Lite and Megatouch last night. However, there is one thing that’s making me smile, and that is Tangents. What the fuck is Tangents, you ask? Tangents is the side project of Derek Kerswill, drummer of Unearth, Seemless, Kingdom of Sorrow, and maybe...
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"PRETTY NOOSE" FOR THE PRETTY IDOL
Lots of people roll their eyes at me when I tell them I like American Idol because they think it’s just a “karaoke competition.” Truth be told, I have never supported a contestant after their run on the show is over, but I like seeing what people come up with as far as different song arrangements throughout the season. (That said, I must once again mention how much everyone SUCKS...
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IF IN FLAMES WERE MORE RADIO FRIENDLY, WOULD THIS...
Speaking of In Flames, my FM rock station here in Syracuse is gearing up for their first big concert of the year (you know, to celebrate the fact that we haven’t seen snow for a whole three days) and in anticipation, they’ve been playing a lot from said bands on air. One of which is a band called Janus- who I’d never hear of otherwise if I didn’t listen to the...
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IN FLAMES / IN MEMORIAM
One of my mother’s oldest and dearest friends passed away recently. It happened very suddenly, and my family did not hear the news until a few weeks after it had happened, because she had been living in Europe. We were all pretty shocked.
I have very fond memories of this woman from when I was a kid and she’d come to visit us. She was friendly, charismatic, and very cultured. She was...
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MORE CHOIR NERDERY: NORWEGIAN GLEEKS "RUN TO THE...
Last week, I did a post on Marco Hietala’s hilarious appearance on Kuorosota, a choir competition show in Finland. Well, reader “Miltbrann” was kind enough to point to me that there is also a Norwegian version of the show, called Korslaget. On the current season, the “Joddski” team served up their loleriffic rendition of “Run to the Hills.” Notice the one...
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WE ARE THE FALLEN SHOULD JUST CALL THEMSELVES...
A while back I caught word of a new band called The Fallen We Are The Fallen, essentially Evanescence without Amy Lee. Replacing Ms. Lee is American Idol alum Carly Smithson. Elise is the American Idol afficionado around these parts, but I watch from time to time out of boredom and truth be told she’s one of the only ones I actually remember liking and rooting for.
HOWEVER, as...
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DON'T LET CURIOSITY KILL THE KITTIE
About a week or so ago, some shocking news was brought to my and the metal world’s attention: Kittie is going back on tour- with INSANE CLOWN POSSE and COOLIO. Like many, I thought it was some kind of weird joke, but then report after report came out all saying the same thing and generally asking the same questions:
What?!?
Why?!?
When I interviewed Morgan and Mercedes at the...
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MIKE-PATTON-IN-A-SUIT PORN
Since I threatened all of your lives yesterday with my absolutely glowing review of the new Daughters album, I figured I’d take it easy today and present you all with a little eye candy. Mike Patton recently put out some new promo pics for the release of his newest project: Mondo Cane.
Mondo Cane is Patton’s Italian orchestra/pop band. When I first heard it, I was pretty down on...
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LISTEN TO THE NEW DAUGHTERS ALBUM OR I WILL KILL...
Recently while I was gettin’ chatty with metal counterparts on the year’s new releases, I noted that nothing was really blowing me away just yet. Little did I know that a few days later, I would get that “WOW factor” album I had been waiting for. Ladies and gentlemen…Daughters:
Daughters and I go back a few years. Soon after the release of their spazzfuck...
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NOT ALL METAL COVERS HAVE TO BE "BR00TAL"
Every day it seems like more and more metal bands are taking stabs at covers of ironic pop hits, or old school 80’s jams. But I also enjoy the opposite art: non-metal artists covering songs 80x heavier than they are. Many attempts are a bit laughable, but I think some come out pretty good.
The metal community tends to frown upon “non-metallers” invading their territory. Whether...
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MARCO HIETALA OF NIGHTWISH IS A GLEEK IN A BAD...
I knew there had to be a reason why I read Anette Olzon’s blog other than to make fun of her funny accent. Recently, the Nightwish songstress (who is pregnant! Congrats, sistah girl!) posted some videos from a Finnish TV show called Kuorosota, an American Idol-type series in which Finnish celebrities lead teams of competing choirs. (I’m guessing it’s a call-in and vote sort of...
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THOUGHTS ON THE RUNAWAYS MOVIE
“JAIL-FUCKING-BAIT! JACK-FUCKING-POT!” exclaimed the legendary Kim Fowley, as he realized his vision of an all-girl rock band was quickly becoming a reality.
I’ve long been fascinated with The Runaways. They were the first all-girl rock band. And even though their career was short…they had that sort of spunk that no other all-female act has ever really been able to...
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THE RETURN OF... LUMINIS!!!
Oh, so you thought we forgot about our good old pals Luminis? THE BEST “European” Female-Fronted-Metal-Cover Band to EVER come out of NEW JERSEY?!?! Alas, they are alive and hanging on for dear life around. Just when they couldn’t get any er, better?, the have hit us with a curveball:
Just a cover band? NO MORE! Luminis has gotten around to writing some shit of their...
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LET'S ALL GET OUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH OVER THIS...
A Facebook friend of mine just posted a picture of this Lady Gaga shirt in a Black Flag style and proceeded to express his frustration. Now before you guys get all HULK SMASH on me, let me break it down for you:
I am Pro-Gaga. The only person on this blog who likes her. I’m not going to give the “originality” argument or say her fashion sense is awesome. I just think she...
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STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: SCION FEST 2010...IF YOU...
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Saturday, March 13th, 2010. Scion Rock fest. Ohio. Growing up not far from the home state of the Fuck-eyes, I went into this experience only slightly excited. It had nothing to do with the festival itself, and everything to do with Ohio smelling like tar and looking like shit. So I am very pleased to say that this review has almost nothing bad to say about the state of Ohio, nor anything bad...
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DAMNIT, DEMON HUNTER
*Sigh* It’s not bad, but it’s not good. And sometimes, that’s bad enough.
I was so looking forward to the new Demon Hunter album. I give them a lot of love on this site, because I think that despite the “Christian metal” tag attached to them that turns a lot of people off, they’re a pretty fucking good band. Every member knows what they’re doing and...
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SHELBY COBRAS KNOWS HIS CHICK METAL
As we’ve said from day one….we’re not know-it-alls when it comes to this metal biznass. I couldn’t tell you who the drummer was of this band during that album in 1976, but I could definitely tell you what happened on ICarly last week! Bottom line…there are way too many bands to listen to and I only have so much time check shit out. Because unlike some of you...
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AND THE QUESTIONS KEEP ON COMIN'!
We finally got around to answering another batch of these. Check out the answers below. Ask more here.
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Who would you like to see do metal artwork or merch?
Elise: Sometimes I think that I should. Everything is so fucking ugly, I hate it. I have no design experience though. Oh well…
Julia: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the (one) time I went to the MoMA in NYC with...
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THE AMERICAN IDOL TOP 12'S PAPAS WERE NOT ROLLING...
I think some of you are going to be really proud of me when I say this: AMERICAN IDOL SUCKS THIS SEASON! Seriously. I’m usually so into it despite its utter gayness, but this season BLOWWWWZ. At this point in the game, I usually have people I love and people I hate, but not this time. Everyone is either really bad or just ehh. On top of that, Ellen DeGeneres is doing a pretty bad job...
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I AM WAY TOO EXCITED TO SEE THE RUNAWAYS MOVIE
Seriously. This looks really good. Most of you probably won’t agree with me, but I gotta go see it this weekend. I’m going to sing the whole way through….which will be extra embarrassing because I think I have to go alone. All my friends are “too cool” to go see a movie with Dakota Fanning in it.
Whatever, mini Cherie…you go grrrrrrrl.
-Elise
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JULIA HAS A QUICKIE WITH MORGAN AND MERCEDES...
Ok, so maybe it wasn’t so quick. But really, what could I possibly complain about? Kittie is one of the few bands that I’ve been listening to since I starting listening to metal, and they just keep getting better. I sat down with them before their show with God Forbid at Northern Lights on 3/5… after they got back from an impromptu trip to the local Walmart that is. Tremendous...
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THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN MAKE EVERYTHING OK
I hate my job. It’s one of those things where I sit there with shit to do all day long, and yet…I feel like I’ve done nothing. It’s miserable. And I still come home every day totally exhausted. This past week was extra harsh on my sleep schedule with a whopping THREE shows to attend. I saw Kreator last Saturday and Alice in Chains on Monday. Come Thursday, I...
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IT'S MONDAY
I don’t know about you guys, but daylight savings time fucked me up hardcore this weekend and I could use a little Monday morning pick-me-up. Cute kids playing Pantera seems to do the trick.
Good luck making it through the week!
-Julia
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NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIKE AVENGED SEVENFOLD AGAIN,...
…the copy of Waking the Fallen that I bought in high school just sold on Half.com for a whopping $4.00. I knew it wouldn’t take long once the drummer died. GOD, I’M A HORRIBLE PERSON. Sad but true?
-Julia
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ADAM LAMBERT LOVES ROCK 'N ROLL
Pretty much identical….except the gal on the left wears more makeup.
-Elise
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METALLICA ISN'T JUST BAD FOR YOUR EARS
New Metallica that is. I’ll gladly listen to the old shit. Anyway…
First it was the tragedy that was Morgan Harrington. And now, at their concert in Bogota, Columbia last night we have the following tally:
three people found stabbed
a policeman was wounded
more than fifty people arrested
property destroyed by gate crashers
Seriously. Get a hold of yourselves you crazy...
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OHAI! I HAVE PLANS FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY WEEKEND
(screen cap courtesy of Metal Insider)
Nothing to say, as of now. It’s months away. I’m stoked as fuck, of course…and I’m pretty sure nothing could make this better.
Oh wait…
That could.
See you soon, boys.
-Elise
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HARDCORE....NO MORE
Straight off my missed connection with Walter Schreifels, Vince from MetalSucks has done posts on Walter bands TWO days in a row. Once for Rival Schools, and the other time for Quicksand. I was happy to see such a good response to these posts, since, most MetalSucks commenters flip a shit if they’re not talking about something totally br0000000tal. After all, there is more to life and...
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DAUGHTERS MAKE BIG GIRLS CRY
Blood and Shutter recently brought these limited edition Daughters t-shirt designs to my attention, and they are creepy as hell. They all feature a different girl crying…tissues and all. You can purchase them on the Hydra Head online store. Their new self-titled album (which features similar art) is out today!
I often wonder how my mother would react if she saw merch items like this....
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STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: SILENT BUTT DEADLY
There is nothing funnier in the entire world then farts. Besides poo, which I tend to lump (pun intended) into the same category. When I’m old and begin to lose my bowels on an hourly basis, I will be laughing too hard at the sounds coming from my asshole to really care. Speaking of farts, this video has everything to do with just how potent one simple pass of the gas can be, and absolutely...
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PARTY ON, GET CRUNK, WHAT WHAAAT
I’m chiming in quite late about this…but there’s been lots of talk about Andrew W.K. in recent weeks. Is he or is he not the same guy he was when 2001’s I Get Wet was released? Is Andrew W.K. just some “personality” dreamt up by some record company? And who the hell is STEEV MIKE?? Well, Andrew was put through the ringer at a recent Q&A here in...
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THE BR00TAL TR00TH - HENRY ROLLINS
That’s right- HENRY ROLLINS. And yes, he’s still angry. Fortunately he wasn’t too angry to take some time from his VERY busy schedule to answer a few questions for Reign in Blonde. I’ll be at his performance at The Westcott in Syracuse on the 27th, but perhaps you see him when he comes to your town. Or don’t go, cause it ain’t gonna hurt his feelings....
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I HATE JASMIN ST. CLAIRE
UGH. Seriously, gag me.
Some moron apparently told Jasmin St. Claire that she was famous enough to write (note: I’m using the work “write” loosely here, who knows if she can ever read) a memoir of her life. For what it’s worth, at least it’s appropriately titled:
What the Hell Was I Thinking?!! Confessions Of The World’s Most Controversial Sex Symbol
...
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JULIA HAS A QUICKIE WITH SCOTT AND NATE OF...
February 18th, 2010. Twas a wonderful night indeed. Before they jumped on stage to rip the faces off of the many little heathens in the crowd, Scott Hedrick and Nate Garnett sat down with me to have a little chat about boozin’, sandwiches, why they’re such an awesome band, and of course- Demi Lovato.
Instead of a long interview to read (which would be silly, this is called a...
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THIS VIDEO IS FUCKING AWESOME....ON MUTE
No, seriously…don’t unmute it. You’ve been warned.
Enjoy!
-Elise
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RUTGERS UNIVERSITY ATTEMPTS TO BREAK AIR GUITAR...
Normally I do not approve of silly things like air guitar competitions, but my own alma mater has been on a roll with breaking world records over the past couple years. In 2008, the Rutgers University World Record organization broke the record for largest gathering of people dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and in 2009 it was the record for largest gathering of people dressed...
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GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULLS: FIGURE SKATING ISN'T...
Coming right off the heels of Elise’s post about Metallica on Ice, here comes another shining example of why the world of figure skating should just lay off the rock music and stick to Bjork and Shania Twain.
This is so ridiculous that it’s gone past comical and settles on just plain dumb. Now, if he were to use the blade of the skate to line up some coke and get ripped during...
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STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: FLIGHT OF THE...
Ahh yes, chicks in the world of metal. Whether your making music or blogging about it, you’re gonna get shit. Thats just the way the world works. We all have an opinion on the women that circulate through this genre, even the women out there, themselves. The lovely yet stone-cold Angela Gossow recently took to KNAC.com to explain the utter falseness she feels Revolver Magazine has...
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DON'T FEAR THE (PUNK GOES...) REAPER
The track listing for the newest installment of the Punk Goes series was recently released. This time they’re goin’ classic rock. (Oh jeez.) Here are the songs that will be featured:
1. Hit The Lights “More Than A Feeling” (originally recorded by Boston) 2. VersaEmerge “Paint It Black” (originally recorded by The Rolling Stones) 3. The Almost “Free...
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OMGAAAH THERE IS A BAND CALLED SHADOWS FAIL????
Anyone who knows me knows I love to bust on Shadows Fall. I just think they suck…and I always have. I remember first hearing them back in high school, and even my wittle ears back THEN knew that they sucked. But alas…they’re popular…they make money….“THEY SELL!!” as any PR/manager type will tell you. Yeah, yeah…. I still love to hate them.
...
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PANTY RAID! MR. MARCH IS....DANIEL CAIRNS OF...
First things first, I’d just like to thank the goils (teehee!) that run the site for letting me be Mr. March, which makes me feel damn sexy. It’s probably the only time anything like this will ever happen to me, not that I’m ugly or anything. I have the body of a greek deity (Athena).
Anyhoo, I had no idea what I was going to write for this thing. It’s kind of hard...
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CHRISTIAN METAL MERCH IS WEIRD
If I had to make a list of summer festivals that I’d rather attend over Mayhem Fest, I’d even go as far to include Cornerstone, the annual CHRISTIAN music festival. Because at least I could see cool jams like mewithoutYou, The Chariot, or Living Sacrifice. But as I perused the rest of this year’s lineup, I noticed a crap ton of funny lookin’ tuff dude bands, and decided...