PANTY RAID! MR. SEPTEMBER IS…AUSSIE NERDS PRAX & SLITH OF METALISTITS.COM

[Editor’s note: Pauly D & The Situation were busy this month, so we got these guys instead.]

Prax: G’day from Down Under* cue didgeridoo music My name is Prax and me and my bro Slith have a blog called metalistits. Above is a pic of us taken at our local metal nite club. That is me on the left being super-hardcore…

Slith: …and that is me on the right bustin’ sum nu metal moves on the floor to Korn. Today we will give you an imaginary, metal tour of Oz, visiting each significant city as we go. Take it away Prax…

Prax: Yo, first stop QLD and as the Queenslanders say there is only two states to be in; Queensland and pissed** and there are also three Brisbane bands with the ‘Dead Letter’ prefix in their name. Dead Letter Chorus are an indie-folk group, Dead Letter Circus are a prog-rock band and Dead Letter Opener are a prog-death-metal band. Are you confused yet? I am.
Fun Fact: Dead Letter Chorus are from Sydney! Not Brisbane! Wow!
www.myspace.com/deadletterchorus
www.myspace.com/deadlettercircus
www.myspace.com/deadletteropener







Slith: On the north coast of New South Wales is sunny Byron Bay a picturesque seaside town that Parkway Drive hang out and surf and play metalcore. And to all the haters out there is say: the deepest depths of hell r reserved betrayers and mutiny den den dan dan dan dan den derriller rilliian rillarrr.
Fun Fact: PWD is a hardcore band that play metal. Or are they a metal band that play hardcore???
www.myspace.com/parkwaydrive




Prax: The closest metal scene for us New South Welshmen is that in Sydney where our fav Oz metal band, Daysend reside. They made the mistake of being nice to me in my early, metal grommet*** days which led to them being pestered by me at every single gig of theirs since. They are sorta melodic death metalcore I guess.
Fun Fact: This one time I got totally wasted at this show and I threw up on my friend and Daysend gave him a free shirt to change into. See how nice they are and what an arsehole I am?
www.myspace.com/daysendmusic




Slith: South of Sydney is the town of Wollongong which is the dominion of the power metal band LORD. LORD has to be written in caps because they say so. Their ruler is LORD Tim (L.T to his mates) and LORD Tim and the rest of LORD are an extremely entertaining live band to watch. LORD also did a cover of Kylie Minogue’s ‘On A Night Like This’ which is great.
Fun Fact: The video they made for ‘On A Night Like This’ is not homo-erotic in the slightest.
www.myspace.com/lordaus




Prax: Let’s keep heading south to the next state Victoria to the capital Melbourne where Five Star Prison Cell like to play their batshit crazy, technical grindcore or something. I don’t know what it is but it scares the shit outta me. They also receive the coveted Prax award for ‘Most brilliant and cleverest band name ever’, cos’ it makes ya think doesn’t it?
Fun Fact: Their bassist’s grandmother, listens to their music but it is 2 extreme 4 me.
www.myspace.com/fivestarprisoncell




Slith: Now further down south again across the straight to the Isle of Tasmania. Tassie is known for three things; being shaped like a woman’s nether region, incestuous behaviour and technical death metal. All of hich are because of Psycroptic. The guys in this band must have been born with extra fingers because of how they can play their fuckin’ instruments. And they are cunts for being able to play so good, there that is all three.
Fun Fact: Psycroptic, like a lot of other Australian metal bands, are way bigger in Europe than they are here.
www.myspace.com/psycroptic




Prax: At the bottom of Australia is South Australia and at the bottom of South Australia is Adelaide and beneath the city of churches is the Adelaide metal scene where Double Dragon reign supreme. They get on the ganja**** harder than any reggae band ever and churn out some wicked New Wave American styled Heavy Metal.
Fun Fact: Lead singer Lee would rival RiB’s Elise for bigger Mike Patton fan and Mike Patton hates Wolfmother and Wolfmother is a shitty Australian band. See we’re all like family.
www.myspace.com/doubledragonheavymetal




Slith: Over to the western arse-end of Australia and the world, Perth, Western Australia. But this city produces some amazing musical talent and one of their best exports is Karnivool. These fellas used to be a Nu metal band back in the day but are now an awesome progressive rock band. They are absolutely killing it overseas but always make sure to come home and show us locals some love too.
Fun Fact: As the legend goes they got their name because some industry wanker***** called them “a bunch of clowns” and ‘Carnival’ + ‘Nu metal misspelling trend’ = ‘Karnivool’.
www.myspace.com/karnivool


Prax: And that is it. I hope you enjoyed the trip and thanks to the Reign in Blondes for allowing us the opportunity to share our backwater part of the earth with everybody.

Slith: Be sure to check out our site www.metalistits.com for more garbage.


* = Hello from Australia
** = drunk
*** = young inexperienced person
**** = cannabis
***** = executive


[Attention citizens of BOY LAND! Think you’re worthy of a Panty Raid?? Send your stuff to reigninblonde@gmail.com. You just might be Mr. October!]