THE MOST METAL DISNEY CHARACTERS, PART 3

So let’s wrap this shiz up….

6. Shenzi, Banzai & Ed (The Lion King, 1994)

Let’s face it.  Scar was nothing without the three hyenas.  The only thing that makes you more metal, is having metal friends.  They’re basically the scummy pit kids that you see at EVERY SHOW.

DISTINGUISHING METAL FEATURES: Large tongues, awful posture.

ROCK OUT TO: The Dillinger Escape Plan & Converge.  They liked Hatebreed, ya know… ‘back in junior high.’

MOST METAL MOMENT/LINE: “No king, no king, la la la la la la…“  (Sing that in doom vocals.)

7. Governor Ratcliffe (Pocahontas, 1995)

Now THIS was one br00tal mother effer.  Pillaging and slaughtering the people of a peaceful Native American civilization is SO METAL.  I’ll even let the pigtails and the prissy dog slide.  SAVAGES!!!!  (Isn’t Disney so delightfully racist?)

DISTINGUISHING METAL FEATURES: Long hair, large stature, creepy soul patch.

ROCKS OUT TO: The Black Dahlia Murder & Pig Destroyer.  He also has a soft spot for Nightwish. (He cried when Tarja got kicked out.)

MOST METAL MOMENT/LINE: “And if you see any Indians…..shoot them.”  \m/

8. Pegasus (Hercules, 1997)

Hercules may have put the ‘Glad’ in ‘Gladiator,’ but he never would have gone from zero to hero without the help of his trusty steed.  Whether you’re slaying a dragon, trotting to victory, or you just need a good snuggle buddy, Pegasus is your dude.  He’s like the Julia to my Elise, the Andy Richter to his Conan, the Axl Rose to his Vince Neil…..errr, yeah.

DISTINGUISHING METAL FEATURES: Um, he’s a horse….with wings.

ROCKS OUT TO: Queen, Dragonforce, Horse the Band.

MOST METAL MOMENT/LINE: When he refuses to give Megara a ride.  BITCH, YOU DON’T OWN ME.

And there you have it.  May they all live happilybrutally ever after.

The End.

-Elise