Dear John Norris,

YOU ARE WAY TO OLD FOR THIS HAIRCUT AND GENERAL STYLE. Seriously dude, you are old enough to be my dad, stop it.

I watched 5 minutes of the Michael Jackson coverage that’s taking over MTV (and thus, preventing me from indulging in 16 and Pregnant) and you look like you’re trying out for Fall Out Boy. And wait, why are you even ON MTV? Don’t you not work there anymore?

Here’s hoping you find a barber and a gift card to Sears or The Gap or something…

-Julia