TOP 5 INAPPROPRIATE WEDDING SONGS

I’m going to a wedding tomorrow, and at first I pondered the idea of doing a list of my own preferred wedding songs.  But since I’m not one of those wackjobs who pick out baby names when they don’t even have a boyfriend, I decided against it.  Let’s face it, besides a few classics, metal is really not suited for the first day of marital bliss.  Your parents are there, grandma is there, children are there, everyone is wearing something dry-clean only…it just doesn’t work.  Here are some of the most un-lovey-dovey jams that I definitely won’t be hearing tomorrow:

5. Lamb of God - “Set to Fail”

Like ya mutha said: “They’ll be divorced in a year!”

4. Pig Destroyer - “Boy Constrictor”

I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may now cut his lips off and see the lacerations grin.

3. Andrew W.K. - “Ready to Die”

It’s all downhill from here, chump.

2. Converge - “Concubine”

Uh oh, I think someone’s hookin’ up in the bathroom…..

1. Limp Bizkit - “Nookie”

Love you too, honey.

-Elise