ELISE’S BEST OF 2010

Don’t ice me, fool.

Why am I writing this? You’ve already scrolled down to my #1, didn’t see The Ocean or any Profound Snore bands, rolled your eyes and x’d out the window. Well gee golly, I gotta fill this space with something. So uhh, yeah….2010, what a hoot. A lot was gained in terms of love, friendships, and new interests, but an increased appreciation for metal? Not so much. The more I explored what’s currently out there (and especially after getting to see Faith No More over the Summer), the more I realized how incredibly non-crucial everything is. I’m 25 years old now. Is anything nowadays really going to measure up to my already established favorite bands? No way in hell. As much as I hate to sound like an old fart, it’s true. But don’t let my old lady attitude get you down. If you’re still young and wet behind the ears, I hope you enjoy what music’s still coming your way. That said…there had to be a few albums this year that didn’t make me feel like such a grump, right? Right. Well, I’m proud to present them to you today. (As awful as you probably think they are.) Here’s what 2010 sounded like to you good ol’ friend Elise:

#10) 10 Years - Feeding the Wolves
Oh dear….I’ve lost you already, haven’t I? If you had told me a year ago that I’d be putting this band on my top 10, I’d have told you you wuz craycray. But there’s still a weakness inside me that won’t let me not like some radio rock once in a while. Whenever I’m upstate, I’ll still listen to the local station and giggle at whatever Shinedown, Breaking Benjamin, Tom, Dick or Harry has a hit at the time. A few months ago I discovered 10 Years’ “Shoot it Out,” and thought it was a pretty rad #whiteppl jam. The rest of the album is pretty dope, too. They sorta remind me of Chevelle. (Yeah…I like that band, too.) Anyway, this is the worst album write-up ever. Oh well, moving on…
FAVORITE TRACK: “NOW IS THE TIME”



#9) Black Tusk - Taste the Sin
What’s the best way for a band to make a good first impression? Play immediately after the most boring band I have ever seen in my life. (Well played, BT.) Since that night, I have totally jumped on the Black Tusk bandwagon. Even though they’re often lumped with all the other Southern sludgy/stoner types, it almost seems as if they were concocted in a way in which all the stuff I don’t like about the other guys were purposely left out. No long, boring drags like Baroness, and no overly jarring guitar riffs like Mastodon. Just simple, straightforward rock. The kind of rock you’ve probably had at least one chance to see live this year, since they’re one of those bands who are constantly on the road. That doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily change the world or anything, but I appreciate the work ethic.
FAVORITE TRACK: “THE RIDE”



#8) Norma Jean - Meridional
I’ve never really liked any of Norma’s Jeans albums as a whole. I always thought “Memphis Will Be Laid to Waste” off Bless the Martyr and Kiss the Child was a pretty dope track, but that’s because it had a guest vocal from mewithoutYou singer Aaron Weiss. (I used to be obsessed with that band.) I even saw NJ about a year ago and wasn’t all that impressed, but I definitely developed quite a liking to Meridional. That’s not to say like I think this album is something so totally musically innovative. It’s not, really…but it does remind me of some early 00s metalcore/hardcore jams. Back when Every Time I Die was putting out their best stuff, or when Thrice was still good (before they got weird). I think what I’m saying is….17 year old Elise thinks this is the shit.
FAVORITE TRACK: “THE PEOPLE THAT SURROUND YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS”



#7) God Dethroned - Under the Sign of the Iron Cross
Congratulations, God Dethroned. What a tremendous honor it must be to make my top 10 list two years in a row. Your trophy is in the mail. Anyway, let’s not front: a lot of God Dethroned’s albums sound pretty much the same. Heavy yet subtle, and oddly pretty. Last year’s Passiondale was an exceptional combination of these qualities, and the GD fellas managed a pretty stellar follow-up. They’re still jammin’ on about World War I, they’re still kickin’ that double bass drum, Henri’s still growlin’ like a puppy dog, and I still like it. Basically, if you already liked God Dethroned: you’ll like this, if you didn’t: then move along…there’s nothing to see here.
FAVORITE TRACK: “STORM OF STEEL”



#6) Volbeat - Beyond Hell/Above Heaven
A while back, Volbeat and I got off on the wrong foot. I mean like, I thought this band was gheeeeey. But then again, if I’m telling you I like them *now*, then they must be ghey. (Sorry, guys. I don’t make the rules.) I don’t feel the need to call BH/AH “metal.” I’d say it’s more “hard rock.” But ultimately, I’d say it doesn’t really fit in with other “cool” metal albums because it doesn’t get “raw” or “down and dirty” or anything. It’s got swagger, and sounds it was written by someone who takes showers and gets laid every now and then. I guess that’s why they call it “Elvis metal.” Anyway, my apologies to Volbeat for jumping on your bandwagon so late. Your songs are catchy and make me wanna curl my lip and find my power stance. Let’s grab a danish sometime. (snort, snort)
FAVORITE TRACK: “FALLEN”



#5) Nachtmystium - Addicts: Black Meddle Pt. II
Don’t you love it when a black metal album sounds pretty much nothing like a black metal album? I sure do. In fact, if you want to tell me this isn’t even metal at all, I’m cool with that, too. At the end of the day, it’s nice to see a band, or even a genre evolve to some degree. A few years ago, I used to dig indie rock/post punk a lot more than I do now. I loved LCD Soundsystem, Interpol, Editors, etc. But I guess the only Joy Division rip-off I’m into nowadays is Nachtmystium. Addicts achieves a great amount of danceability but still gauges the dark somberness of Nachtmystium’s kvlt ancestors. It’s the mix of styles that make Nachtmystium better than any old panda paint squad. They’re also touring with Cradle of Filth and Turisas this Winter. Anything to make the black metal nerds butthurt, huh guys? Respect.
FAVORITE TRACK: “NIGHTFALL”



#4) Rotting Christ - Aealo
Ya see, what had happened was….I saw Rotting Christ once back in early 2009 and thought they were more funny than anything else. Then Aealo came along, and I anticipated it being the most unintentionally humorous album of the year. And it was! But then I listened to it a little more and realized that I didn’t just like it ironically, I just plain like it. We live in a world where there’s “viking metal” and “pirate metal,” but Rotting Christ are my own personal first taste of what’s known as “war metal,” or even “ROMAN EMPIRE METAL!” (“But Elise, they’re Greek!” …. Like it matters. #srsly) Aealo is sort of a bizarre, combative musical journey. The rhythms are catchy and consistent throughout, so it was easy for me to jump in and get into it. And while I’ve never enjoyed the drill sergeant vocal stylings of tuff guy Jamey Jasta (seriously dude, stop yelling at me), I’d say Sakis Tolis leads the battle lines in a much more sophisticated fashion. Perhaps I’ll start to take a dip into their back catalogue now. But hey kids, whatever you do, do NOT listen to the last track on this one. It’s awful, and apparently a cover. Don’t care by who. BAD.
FAVORITE TRACK: “NOCTIS ERA”



#3) Triptykon - Eparistera Daimones / Shatter EP
Knowing what I was getting myself into (and knowing my lack of patience these days), this is the sort of album I’d expect to think is boring. Tommy G’s not exactly a big ray of sunshine, and once I peeped the tracklist, I anticipated this sounding “like Celtic Frost….only longer.” Whoopeeee! But [insert album name I do not feel like typing again] proved me wrong. It’s pretty much the heaviest thing I listened to all year, and it managed to keep me interested the whole way through despite its lengthiness. I’ve long laughed and rolled my eyes at “tr00 evil” music, but Triptykon aren’t flashy, and they write music that is too thick and disturbing for me to consider it even remotely funny. No run-of-the-mill band dude could write songs like these. This is srs biznus.
FAVORITE TRACK: “A THOUSAND LIES”



#2) The Dillinger Escape Plan - Option Paralysis
Ohhhh typical me, getting pumped on a Dillinger album. But had you asked me even a few months ago what I thought of Option Paralysis, I’d have slapped you with a big, fat “ehh.” Because that’s pretty much how I’ve reacted to most Dillinger albums upon first listen. Having gotten so enthralled with Calculating Infinity and Irony is a Dead Scene, that to then accept Miss Machine into my life was a challenge. I soon came to appreciate Machine as their ‘tough boy’ album, and grew to love it. Ire Works also confused me a few years later, but it eventually—in my eyes, earned its place in the pack. Then came Option Paralysis, and I poo poo’d that too, but I had it all wrong. Isn’t it kind of retarded to compare a band’s sound to the way they were even 10+ years ago, especially when there’s only one original member left? The Dillinger Escape Plan are a completely different band now, so I should do nothing but expect and welcome these continuous steps in new directions. But how does OP measure up? Call me crazy, and maybe it’s just the abundance of clean vocals, but it comes off a tad more sentimental than past releases, no? Maybe the most current version of Dillinger are a big bunch of softies. But don’t worry, they can still kick your ass when you see them live.
FAVORITE TRACK: “WIDOWER”



#1) Daughters - Daughters
I knew very early on this album would rank pretty high on my end of year list. When Daughters first started out, they were a spazzy grindcore act. But as their career progressed, they proved they could do this other thing called SONG WRITING. (ZOMG HOOKS AND MELODIES!) And while I’m pretty much the only person that seems to care about this album, (hell, even the band doesn’t care about this album—they broke up before it was put out—heh, “put out”), that won’t stop me from praising it. But I can see the disconnect. Daughters is more of a David Yow-esque noise rock album, than it is “metal” or “grind-y.” But as far as I’m concerned, it’s for the best. It got them to the #1 spot on this list, didn’t it? Anyway, it’s too bad Daughters couldn’t have stuck around a bit longer, but I guess I’ll just have more time to make fun of black metal now. Peace out, dudes.
FAVORITE TRACK: “THE HIT”

P.S. When Hydra Head first put this album out, they offered limited edition t-shirts based on the album art. I failed to jump on it when I had the chance, and now they’re no where to be found. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ONE (PREFERABLY IN A MENS SMALL)?????!!


HONORABLE MENTIONS:

—Mose Giganticus - Gift Horse
—Early Graves - Goner
—Finntroll - Nifelvind
—Jucifer - Throned in Blood
—The Funeral Pyre - Vultures at Dawn
—Ihsahn - After
—Shining - Blackjazz
—Deftones - Diamond Eyes
—Trap Them - Filth Rations EP
—Child Abuse - Cut and Run


FAVORITE NON-METAL ALBUMS:

—Ke$ha - Animal & Cannibal
—VersaEmerge - Fixed at Zero
—Hey Monday - Beneath it All EP
—Miranda Cosgrove - Sparks Fly
—Robyn - Body Talk Part 1 & 2
—Mike Patton - Mondo Cane
—Fight Fair - California Kicks
—Energy - Walking into the Fire EP
—You Me At Six - Hold Me Down
—Automatic Loveletter - Truth or Dare
—We Are the In Crowd - Guaranteed to Disagree EP
—The Morning Of - The Way I Fell In
—Alkaline Trio - This Addiction


OTHER VARIOUS SONGS I LIKED:

—Allstar Weekend - “Come Down With Love”
—Big Time Rush - “Famous” & “Til I Forget About You”
—Evan Taubenfeld - “Pumpkin Pie”
—Fake Problems - “ADT”
—Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber - “Eenie Meenie”
—Miley Cyrus - “Permanent December” & “I’m Still Good”
—Rihanna - “Rude Boy”
—Selena Gomez - “Naturally” & “Shake it Up”
—Taio Cruz - “Dynamite”
—Tiesto ft. Tegan & Sara - “Feel it in My Bones”
—Willow Smith - “Whip My Hair”
—Victoria Justice - “Freak the Freak Out”
—Pink - “Raise Your Glass”
—Katy Perry - “Firework”
—Paramore - “Playing God”
—Demi Lovato - “Can’t Back Down”
—Lady Gaga & Beyonce - “Telephone”
—The Summer Set - “The Boys You Do (Get Back at You)”


ALBUMS I WISH I HAD TIME TO HEAR:

—Thank God - Ice/Age
—Jesse McCartney - Have it All
—The Pretty Reckless - Light Me Up
—Shat - Cunt-a-Doodle Doo
—Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday
—Millionaires - Cash Only EP


BEST SHOWS:

—The Dillinger Escape Plan @ Irving Plaza
—Finntroll @ Gramercy Theater
—Faith No More Independence Day Weekend in Brooklyn/Philly
—Robyn @ Webster Hall
—Devin Townsend @ Gramercy Theater


I don’t really care to do any other fun/silly categories, but I’ll leave you all with this:


SRSLY


Until next year…

-Elise