THE HOTTEST CHICK IN METAL BRACKET: SWEET SIXTEEN, ROUNDS 7 & 8
Wrapping up our Sweet Sixteen rounds are Brooklyn Vegan’s rather poetic metal guru, Black Bubblegum, as well as everyone’s 3rd favorite metal VJ, Mr. Rob Pasbani of Metal Injection. Let ‘em have it, boys!
SWEET SIXTEEN, ROUND 7: GABE GARCIA (BLACK TIDE) VS. MATT HEAFY (TRIVIUM)
Sign your fretted instrument?
“Talk to my agent!”
Th’ slithering, poison-tongued serpent doth exclaim
‘Tis not the affections of the fairest creature
Beauty you are not
Yet Hark! O! Delicate brown eyes.
Auburn locks did cascade o’er shoulders
Ne’ermore shall tears fall upon your face
Like that intermediate education bully doth besiege on you
Thou art not a youngling guitar nerd!
Such brooding, let us embrace.
WINNER: GABE GARCIA.
—Black Bubblegum, Brooklyn Vegan
SWEET SIXTEEN, ROUND 8: HERMAN LI (DRAGONFORCE) VS. TUOMAS HOLOPAINEN (NIGHTWISH)
I have always had a thing for Asian chicks. Then again this goth chick looks like the type that has low self-esteem and would really listen to you and take an interest in you life. But this guy isn’t looking for a clingy bitch that follows me around everywhere. I want a one night stand with the Asian chick! WINNER: HERMAN LI.
—Rob Pasbani, Metal Injection
Things are just starting to heat up. The Elite 8 go head to head tomorrow!
