WHO’S YOUR DADDY? BE THANKFUL IT AIN’T CHARLES MANSON

This one’s for all you adopted kids out there. Oddly enough, I’ve had quite a few adopted friends over the years- some being adopted straight out the womb, others later on, friends adopted from their own town and ones who were born in other countries. Thankfully I don’t know any biologically related to Charles Manson.

Matthew Roberts (Look at him! He’s got to be one of us!) was on the path to finding his birth parents when- surprise surprise- he found that Charles Manson may very well be his dad. Says Roberts:

“I didn’t want to believe it, I was frightened and angry. It’s like finding out that Adolf Hitler is your father. I’m a peaceful person - trapped in the face of a monster… My hero is Gandhi. I’m an extremely nonviolent, peaceful person and a vegetarian… I don’t even kill bugs.”

Poor guy. But seriously, this makes me beg the question- who would you rather have as a dad? Charles Manson or Marilyn Manson?

I guess they’re both equally embarrassing. I wouldn’t want either or them to show up at a parent-teacher conference. At least Marilyn Manson would sign you up for music lessons or something… what’s Charles gonna do, get you a machete and Pam Anderson’s address?

To each his own I spose.

-Julia