FOR WHOM THE WEDDING BELL TOLLS
Well well well, looks like the love bug is going around these here metal parts. Wedding season is typically in the spring/early summer months, but I guess that cheesy pretty shit doesn’t fly for us. Getting married in the DEAD OF FREEZING COLD WINTER? Sounds like a pretty brutal idea, or perhaps a new song title idea for Mayhem… OR rather, Behemoth?
Couple #1: Nergal and Polish popstar Doda. In the summer we heard about this bizarre romance, but now rumor has it that the two are engaged. ENGAGED. I understand the excitement of being with someone completely opposite than yourself. But these two strike me as extremely different as can be. I guess they both like music… and… Poland?
Couple #2: Trivium’s Matt Heafy sealed the deal this past weekend in home state of Florida. Yay! -and that’s all I’ve got for you.
Couple #3: Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood got engaged too. Alright, then. I’m gonna be honest with you- I like Evan Rachel Wood, and I don’t completely dislike Marilyn Manson. But these two have been on and off and I don’t think their future looks too bright. Plus, she and I are the same age, and I can’t imagine dating or marrying someone who’s old enough to be my dad. If she gets pregnant it’ll be EPIC. Marilyn Manson as a DAD?!? THAT I’d LOVE to see.
Well bros, go ahead and kiss the bride, but try not to smudge her makeup. Or yours.
-Julia
