STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: SILENT BUTT DEADLY

There is nothing funnier in the entire world then farts. Besides poo, which I tend to lump (pun intended) into the same category. When I’m old and begin to lose my bowels on an hourly basis, I will be laughing too hard at the sounds coming from my asshole to really care. Speaking of farts, this video has everything to do with just how potent one simple pass of the gas can be, and absolutely nothing to do with metal:

THIS WOMAN FARTED SO HARD, SHE PASSED THE FUCK OUT. Oh my god, what did she eat? What on EARTH needs to get out of your body so bad that it literally causes you to fall unconcious? Was it the smell, or the shear movement of the gas? Honestly, I’m IMPRESSED. What does this video have to do with metal? Well…

.

Drummer Ryan Halpert of Silent Civilian (ex-As Blood Runs Black) showed this to me a few weeks ago. So yeah, theres that. I’ve seriously been eating the most ridiculious things to try and recreate such a profound explosion, but I have yet to even come close. #shadfail

Anyway, Silent Civilian is still on tour right now, and I have good word that another tour will soon follow this to promote their new album, Ghost Stories, which drops May 18th. If you’re not familiar with their stuff, I highly recommended you give it a try, as I can almost promise that you’ll be hearing of them a hell of a lot more come May. Quick note: Jonny Santos, founder of Silent Civilian, was also the lead singer of the Grammy nominated Spineshank. If you’re not familiar with Spineshank, then please close this window, as you’re probably a retard, and I’m mad prejudice. But seriously, go catch these hotties if you can; I’ve been kind enough to post the remaining dates below. You will NOT be disapointed. Oh, and make sure to yell out things like “New Disease!” and “Synthetic!” when Santos is tuning his guitar. He LOVES it. #srsly 

.

Mar 9 2010 7:00P AJ’S Lake Charles, Louisiana

Mar 10 2010 7:00P Outlaw Drinking Club Beaumont, Texas

Mar 11 2010 7:00P Walter’s On Washington Houston, Texas

Mar 12 2010 7:00P The Stafford Bryan/College Station, Texas

Mar 13 2010 7:00P Encore Austin, Texas

Mar 14 2010 7:00P Skillmans Street Bar Dallas, Texas

Mar 15 2010 7:00P Bonds 007 San Antonio, Texas

Mar 17 2010 7:00P The Rock Tucson, Arizona

Mar 18 2010 7:00P The Fish Pub Tempe, Arizona

Mar 19 2010 7:00P The Whiskey a Go Go Los Angeles, California

Mar 20 2010 7:00P Cheyenne Saloon Las Vegas, Nevada

-A.Gossowski