STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: LEVI/WERSTLER…I THINK I JUST STAINED MY UNDERPANTS

Dude. Instead of beating around the bush, I‘m just getting right into it: Avalanche of Worms is a goddamn masterpiece. I’m pretty terrible at giving technical reviews of anything, mostly because my ability to use big words has been eliminated due to the copious amount of drugs I have done over the years. So this is just a rough round-up of my feelings/thoughts on the album.

Anyway, I really enjoy me some Daath and wasn’t quite sure what to expect with this project. I kept hearing how fantastic it turned out, but still had no idea what I was about to hear. Then I clicked play. All I could say was, “I think God just ejaculated into my ears”. Holy shit you guys. The outstanding display of talent on this album is one for the books. From beginning to end, I felt like I was reading a haunting fairytale through my ears. Yes, I know that sounds really, really gay. But its true. Avalanche of Worms created some of the most vivid images I’ve ever had in my head while sober. This album gives me chills. (There’s some geese fucking in my yard right now, and I can’t stop watching. I just had to share that with you all).

Is it weird that I’m turned on right now?

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SO, LEVI/WERSTLER. These guys together are a gift from God, just like Lady Gaga and Sarah Palin are a punishment. For those of you who aren’t a fan of Daath, let me remind you this project sounds nothing like that ensemble. This is a lyricless project that has clearly taken influences from all over the musical spectrum. It’s most certainly considered metal, but the variation between sounds is noticeable and really brings a welcome change of pace to the overall layout. I almost wish I had something to make fun of here, but I don’t. All I can really do is threaten all of you right now: if you don’t go out and physically PURCHASE this album, you don’t deserve to hear it. Even though I already have this album on my computer, I am going to go out and buy it.

When musicians create music of this magnitude, you HAVE to support them in any way possible. This album should not be stolen, it deserves respect. I’m not even kidding. That’s how much I love this: I’m actually going to take my booze money and buy it. I’m sacrificing a bottle of Sobieski to own a physical copy. That’s a pretty big deal. You should do the same if you have any respect for music, and metal, at all. I want to thanks both Eyal Levi and Emil Werstler for being so awesome at what they do, and making this labor of love better then a majority of ANYTHING that has come and is set to come out in 2010. And now that I’m done licking the taints of both gentlemen, I am going to take a huge dump. Seriously. I’ve drank a massive amount of coffee this morning, and its taking its toll on my colon. Go pick up Avalanche of Worms via Magna Carta on 4/20. Run, don’t walk, you bastards.

-A.Gossowski