STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT: BANDS WHO TAKE THEIR NAME FROM OTHER BANDS’ SONGS…ABOUT AS UNIQUE AS THOSE GIFT CARDS YOU GAVE OUT LAST CHRISTMAS
Originality is a bitch these days. Movies, television, music, you name it; everyone is “borrowing” from someone or something else. But then again, this is coming from someone who just makes fun of peoples’ careers all day. So pretty much I am a giant hypocrite with a wealth of followers. That makes no money by doing so. PLEASE PAY US. I PROMISE TO MAKE YOUR DICK BIGGER. What were we talking about again? OH YEAH. MUSIC.
Lets try a little excersise. If you just recently purchased a new puppy, what would you call it, and how would you go about picking the name? If you watch cartoons, and you name it Brian, then you should probably shove a pistol down your throat. If not, then you’re in the clear. That’s a metaphor of how I usually feel about bands who steal their names from other bands songs. I mean, seriously…you bands can’t think of ONE thing that’s NOT from something everyone else already knows? You suck at life. I’ve met retards with more originality. Look at Lady Gaga. Or Al Gore.
When I was compiling this list, I noticed a trend that you kids didn’t get to see. Most of my list was cut due to the fact that a majority of the bands who have stolen their names are wastes of space, time, and money. And they are also screamo, deathcore, or one of those other microgenre’s that escapes me at the moment. So overall, completely dreadful.
This intro is way to long, so lets just get into this shit. I’d like to take the time and either build up or tear down the groups who have decided to make a living through names they have taken from another bands song. I was kind enough to invite some of metal bloggings finest writers to contribute, so make sure to remember: if something isn’t funny, it most certainly wasn’t written by me. #srsly
WINDS OF PLAGUE
Taken from: Unearth (Endless)
What a way to start off the list. I must admit, I used to enjoy myself some WoP. As a matter of fact, I interviewed them last summer. Fortunately, I slowly came to my senses and realized what a fad that band really is. Plus, 2 members don’t even drink. WHAT THE FUCK? #srsly. Unearth, however, is and always will be one of my favorite bands. They also embody more talent then every member of WoP combined and then some. The only thing those kids had going for them was a hot keyboard player, whom they fired. So pretty much Winds Of Plague has turned into a giant #FAIL. Also: the amount of puffy vests that clothe this band is just out of control, and borderline illegal.
Would Unearth be proud?: They would be proud like your grandma is proud of your cousin that somehow landed a job at a bank despite the two felonies he has on his record.
Johnny Plague practices posing for his upcoming photoshoot.
.
ROBOT LORDS OF TOKYO
Taken from: Clutch (11001110101)
As soon as I stumbled upon this band, I a) knew the lyric the bands name was taken from (usually I can’t remember what I did 5 minutes ago, let alone like, LYRICS, ya know!?) and b) thought they totally ruled. It’s almost a crustier version of Clutch…with a name penned…by Clutch. So I’m not digging the ineradicable amount of unoriginality that the band embodies as far as their name is concerned. I think that’s apparent. But their music is pretty sweet and I don’t have anything bad to say about them (right now). And I wouldn’t mind stroking their beards…
Would Clutch be proud?: Neil Fallon probably beats off to RLOT. It’s a great ego booster. Like the time a girl came up to me at a show and said I was her inspiration to lose weight, because she didn’t want to look like me by the time she too, was 24.
.
BURY YOUR DEAD (by Riff from GamesMeetMetal.com)
Taken from: The Haunted (Bury Your Dead)
Oh, Bury Your Dead, what has become of you? You guys used to write exceptionally good metalcore tunes, something that’s become close to impossible these days. Your best CD, Beauty and the Breakdown, still gets regular spins in my iPod. You used to put on great shows. Then BOOM! A lead singer change later, and you became bland and predictable sellouts. So you all can take a money shot in the face for blowing so much. Then there’s The Haunted, whose last CD, Verses, may not of been their greatest, but at least they keep themselves entertaining. Especially lead singer Peter Dolving, whose obvious on-stage insanity makes him and the rest of the band a joy to watch and to listen to. It also makes me concerned as to what medication Peter usually takes. Maybe someone’s switching out his antidepressants for Tic Tacs.
Would The Haunted be proud?: At one time? Maybe. But now? FUCK NO! However, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. If BYD’s current output of “music” can cause Mr. Dolving to write another profanity-filled blog on Blabbermouth ripping on all of BYD’s fans for having shitty taste in music, then it’ll all be worth it.
Thanks to Riff from GamesMeetMetal.com for his blurb on two bands I wish I hadn’t seen live. -AG
.
GODSMACK (by Julia of, ya know…the site you are reading right now)
Taken from: Alice in Chains (Godsmack)
I was quick to jump to conclusions about this example of copy-catting (I mean, what do I care about Godsmack?), but upon further examination, there may be a little bit more to analyze. You see, Alice in Chains came first (obviously), but the two bands both had/have a tremendous popular appeal and somewhat similar fan base during the late 90’s. It’s kinda like the whole “a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square” thing - that a Godsmack fan probably likes Alice in Chains, but an Alice in Chains fan probably could care less about Godsmack - you feel me? If you’re reading RiB, you know who the superior band is; its more of a matter of whether Godsmack’s popularity (however questionable) makes the stealing of the name more or less of a crime.
Would Alice in Chains be proud?: Let’s face it: Layne Staley’s dead, Mike Starr is a vegetable, and Jerry Cantrell is too cool to care. Proud? Nah. Ambivalent? Probably.
This is Julia Gulia’s first appearance in Straight Outta De-Twat. My apologies to her for forcing her to write about Godsmack. -AG
.
CHELSEA GRIN
Taken from: Bring Me The Horizon (some song I don’t give a shit about)
Oh look, a crappy band stealing their name from another crappy band. That’s like getting sloppy seconds from a girl that looks like your uncle. I remember when Elise played some Chelsea Grin for me back in January for the sole purpose of entertainment. In all honesty, we only made it 15 seconds into the first song before laughing hysterically for a good hour. Therefore, not only is THIS band laughable, but so is Bring Me The Horizon. In fact, I can officially say I hate both bands. Why anyone would be inspired by a band whose lead singer sounds like he’s crying on each song because his skinny jeans are too tight?
Would BMTH be proud?: I’m sure they are. I’m also pretty sure that karma is a bitch, and one day each member of said group will get what they deserve for making such terrible music. Shame on both of these bands for being so fucking bad.
.
BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME
Taken from: Counting Crows (Ghost Train)
Not a favorite band, but certainly one that deserves mad respect. The only joke I can make about them pertains to the hilarious Asian/Mexican/possibly Filipino kid who was RAGING at Irving Plaza during their set earlier this year. That kid was AWESOME. Plus, I believe there were two separate pits going simultaneously. Neither of which I was in, because I was being pampered like a queen in VIP. #srsly. Wouldn’t have guessed their name was taken from Counting Crows…Ever. I’ve always enjoyed myself some Counting Crows. As a matter of fact, I got my first legit kiss from a boy while listening to “Mr. Jones”. Then again, he was a ginger, so maybe that doesn’t count.
Would Counting Crows be proud?: If they have good taste in music, then absolutely. BTBAM haven’t put out anything that has blown me away per say, but they always put on a great show and my respect level has gone up knowing they stole their name from such a sweet non-metal band. If they don’t have good taste in music, then fuck them. Plus, Adam Duritz has dated some insanely hot women (including that one whore from Real World: Las Vegas). I have no idea how, or why, but that’s the true epitome of a rockstar: being fucking busted and dating women that are so out of your league you’d pay to play the fantasy version.
Seriously.
.
HIT THE LIGHTS (by Elise, the most vertically obese homegirl on this site)
Taken from: Metallica (Hit the Lights)
A few years ago, I flipped on Steven’s Untitled Rock Show on FUSE and caught the video for Hit the Lights’ song “Drop the Girl.” My first thought was “Who are THESE whiney buncha c**ts? And why did they name themselves after a Metallica song?” But then I thought…who are Metallica, anyway? ….A whiney buncha c**ts. So I guess it’s pretty fitting. Once I got past their sound, I sat back and marveled at what a bangin’ video they had going on. Between all the hawt chicks in 6 inch stilettos, the token “Other-Than-White” guitarist, and enough Glamour Kills to clothe a third world nation…I’d say that shit is pretty pimp. Speaking of Glamour Kills, did I ever tell you guys I went to high school with the guy who started that? I mean, it’s only the most fly scene gear on the market, besides Urban Outfitters. #srsly Oh wait, we were talking about music weren’t we? Uhhh…I guess the band is alright for what they are. I’d be down to go see them if one of the SYWH kids asked me, even if we were the only people there old enough to drink.
Would Metallica be proud?: Nope. Which only makes me hope this is the start of a trend. I sure can’t wait for the new deathcore jams from I Disappear, or those guys from Whiskey in the Jar, the newest screamo crunk sensation.
Elise found out before sitting down to write this that Hit the Lights’ name actually comes from an 80’s movie called Gleaming the Cube. She just tricked you into reading about a neon scenepunk for no reason. Suckers.
.
MOONSORROW (by Noa, the lonesome vagina over at Metal Injection)
Taken from: Celtic Frost (Sorrow of the Moon)
MOONSORROW FTW!! Although Tom Warrior and Martin Ain are tough necro cookies, I’m sure they would butter up to the Moonsorrow clan. The song they chose to model their name after is a great example of the emotional spew that is Celtic Frost and Moonsorrow; Raw, aggressive music balanced by cascading, enchanting lyrics.
Would Celtic Frost be proud?: The only complaint I have, ehmm I mean that Celtic Frost would have is Moonsorrow’s stage performance. They are not nearly as deranged, black leathered or studded as CF. NEED MORE LEATHER PLZ. Ok now pardon me as I go shove cookies into my head, flip the pages of “Only Death Is Real” and listen to Ukkosenjumalan Poika.
Noa from MetalInjection.com threw up on her keyboard after having a tr00 kvlt seizure and this is what came out. #srsly -AG
Nothing to do with MoonSorrow or Celtic Frost, and everything to do with PERMAFROST.
.
HESTER PRYNNE
Taken from: As Blood Runs Black (Hester Prynne)
I don’t think I could care any less about any one thing in the history of the world.
Would As Blood Runs Black be proud?: I can’t believe I took time out of my day to express how much I don’t care about these bands. And I can’t believe I’m still typi
.
Eh, I guess not everyone can be as smart and genius like as myself. I mean, c’mon, ANGELA GOSSOWSKI IS THE MOST ORIGINAL PEN NAME IN THE FUCKING WORLD.
You gotta take the good with the bad I suppose. I really have no idea what I’m talking about right now, as I’ve been snorting Percocet and drinking mimosa’s since 7pm. Also: it’s Monday. So…what bands do you guys think I’m a d-bag for not mentioning? Do you like prescription pills? Did you denounce the existence of any God knowing that bands like Chelsea Grin were signed and haven’t been assassinated yet? How much do you love the new Limp Bizkit song? Fill a sista in. Till next time, Na Zdrowie, my niggahs.
-A.Gossowski
