DID GOD DETHRONED WRITE THE MOST FUNNY/RIDICULOUS LYRIC EVER?

Let’s get real, kids. If you took everything I listen to that has growly/harsh vocals, I’d say I actually know the words to less than 10% of it. If I can’t sing along, I have no clue what you’re saying. Unless it’s something like HAAAAATE. MUUURRRRDERRRRRRRR. KIIILLLLLLLLLLL.  …you guys know the drill.

Anyway, Mr. Sunyata from over at Mindful of Metal (who shares my fondness for the flying Dutchmen of God Dethroned) recently brought to my attention some absurd lyrics that I had never picked up on from GD’s song “Under a Silver Moon.”

This jam is from their 1997 album, The Grand Grimoire, back when their sound was more on the “blackened” side of death metal. Much like any God Dethroned song you’ll ever hear, this one is about how god sucks, and religion is bullshit, or what have you. (Ain’t they the cutest??) But “Under a Silver Moon” takes a very strange turn towards the end (5:20 mark). Here’s what I mean:

Josef screams in anger when he discovers her being pregnant
How could it happen? I don’t know how to fuck!
It’s a gift from god, it must be.

Hmm…”I don’t know how to fuck.” Isn’t that a Ludacris song? (snort, snort) But seriously folks, when you first read that, you can’t help but be all WTF? But then you realize that he (in the strangest way possible) has managed to totally get his point across…? You’re a witty man, Henri. But screaming the phrase “I don’t know how to fuck” is creepy no matter how you slice it. Try not to sing me that song when you finally come to your senses and ask me to run away to the Netherlands with you. It might make the honeymoon a little awkward.

Read the rest of the lyrics here. What’s the weirdest lyric you know?

-Elise