Reign in Blonde [noun; plural] - Two tall, blonde chicks who bring the metal. We're not know-it-alls, and we don't report the news. This is our blog where we simply discuss what's on our brutal minds. Bon Appetit.
I love it when little glimpses of awesome make their way into everyday life. There’s a Chinese food place in Syracuse that we love because A) the food is bangin and B) the kids (literally the owners kids aged 7-12) are always there working the register and taking orders. When I walked in to get my order yesterday, an amazing conversation ensued between one of the kids and another customer. Observe:
Dude: Yo, can I just get two eggrolls?
Kid: Yeah, $2.60… What’s the ring? (looking at Dude’s hand)
(The Kid goes back to his computer, but the Dude leaves and returns 2 minutes later)
Dude: Hey, do me a favor and look up the Grateful Dead on YouTube
Kid: …Eh, I don’t feel like it.
Dude: (stunned) C’mon…
Kid: Fine… (Kid looks up GD on Google Image) The OLD GUY?
Dude: Well, yeah. They’re all old now, but-
Kid: What kind of music is it?
Dude: Do you know what a “jam band” is?
Kid: Epic fail.
The kid had the sarcasm and wit of a 20-something, and I got to watch him take down a hippie and manage a restaurant all at the tender (estimated) age of 12. Rock on, little boy New Garden, rock on. SLAAAAYYYYYEEEERRRRRRRR!
Originality is a bitch these days. Movies, television, music, you name it; everyone is “borrowing” from someone or something else. But then again, this is coming from someone who just makes fun of peoples’ careers all day. So pretty much I am a giant hypocrite with a wealth of followers. That makes no money by doing so. PLEASE PAY US. I PROMISE TO MAKE YOUR DICK BIGGER. What were we talking about again? OH YEAH. MUSIC.
Lets try a little excersise. If you just recently purchased a new puppy, what would you call it, and how would you go about picking the name? If you watch cartoons, and you name it Brian, then you should probably shove a pistol down your throat. If not, then you’re in the clear. That’s a metaphor of how I usually feel about bands who steal their names from other bands songs. I mean, seriously…you bands can’t think of ONE thing that’s NOT from something everyone else already knows? You suck at life. I’ve met retards with more originality. Look at Lady Gaga. Or Al Gore.
When I was compiling this list, I noticed a trend that you kids didn’t get to see. Most of my list was cut due to the fact that a majority of the bands who have stolen their names are wastes of space, time, and money. And they are also screamo, deathcore, or one of those other microgenre’s that escapes me at the moment. So overall, completely dreadful.
This intro is way to long, so lets just get into this shit. I’d like to take the time and either build up or tear down the groups who have decided to make a living through names they have taken from another bands song. I was kind enough to invite some of metal bloggings finest writers to contribute, so make sure to remember: if something isn’t funny, it most certainly wasn’t written by me. #srsly
And you probably are too if you read this blog. The infamous hippie infestation episode was on last night, and besides the fact that it’s ironic that this is kinda what my life has become recently, it’s also funny because it just reminded me that we actually ARE superior people. Not that it’s hard to be better than hippies, but you know what I mean… Now that I think about it, Reign in Blood has actually done quite a bit for me. There’s the obvious (look up), but then again I’ve written papers about it, debated it, and never seem to get tired of listening to it. SLAAAAAAAYYYEEERRRRRRRR!!!!
So uh… this is Limp Bizkit’s new promo picture for their highly awaited new album!!!1 Gold Cobra. 4 normal looking dudes and Wes Borland. My personal favorite is the guy to the left of Wes (that’s not Fred Durst). If I could write his inner monologue it would be something like…
“Great. This is our comeback album and already Wes is tryin’ to steal the show and be all ‘I’m so cool cause I’m so weird’ shit again. Fuck that. I’m gonna stand here in my hoodie and cargo shorts and just looked pissed. Cause I’m cool. Yeah, I’m the coolest motherfucker IN this band! Fuck you too, Fred! I had that goatee first!”
I’m not really sure what 30 Seconds to Mars call their sound, but I’d say it’s somewhere in that post grunge/alternative metal area. Whatever you wanna call it, I sure don’t know a soul who likes them…do you?
Anyway, as someone who can definitely appreciate Gaga worship in a variety of forms, I think we’ve now found one of the worst of the bunch. Way to make Gaga sound whiney, Jordan Catalano.
Nice outfit, btw? It must be pretty sunny in that studio. Well, as it turns out, this is not 30 Seconds to Mars’ first attempt at songs they should DEFINITELY NOT cover:
Music is one of the few things in the world that makes me unconditionally happy (hence, why I’m here), but lately I’ve been having to ask myself, “How the hell did I get suckered into THIS?!?”
I love The Beardo, and our common appreciation of and love for music is part of what makes life so good. He’s tolerant of *deep guttural voice* the METAL, he might even like some of it, and I can handle the jam band/singer-songwriter/hippy-dippy/retro folk stuff that he likes to an extent as well. Since we both also love live music, we have an agreement to accompany each other to our respective shows whenever they hit the area, and we try to keep the numbers as even as possible. Last fall/winter, he took my to three Phish “experiences”, Ani DiFranco and a Keller Williams show and in return we hit up Arch Enemy, GWAR, Skeletonwitch, Mastodon/Dethklok, and Kittie/God Forbid. But now it summer is upon us and we’re looking at a new line-up… ONE THAT LEAVES ME DROWNING IN HEMP, TIE-DYE, AND PATCHOULI:
Oh, so you thought we forgot about our good old palsLuminis? THE BEST “European” Female-Fronted-Metal-Cover Band to EVER come out of NEW JERSEY?!?! Alas, they are alive and hanging onfor dear life around. Just when they couldn’t get any er, better?, the have hit us with a curveball:
Just a cover band? NO MORE! Luminis has gotten around to writing some shit of their own. Behold the first sampling (seen above) “Into My Sin”
For those of you just jumping on the Luminis band wagon, observe. Soak it all in. Check out their MySpace and their official site. You know where to leave your thoughts…
…the copy of Waking the Fallen that I bought in high school just sold on Half.com for a whopping $4.00. I knew it wouldn’t take long once the drummer died. GOD, I’M A HORRIBLE PERSON. Sad but true?
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