Reign in Blonde [noun; plural] - Two tall, blonde chicks who bring the metal. We're not know-it-alls, and we don't 'report' unbiasedly. This is our blog where we simply discuss what's on our brutal minds. Bon Appetit.
Some moron apparently told Jasmin St. Claire that she was famous enough to write (note: I’m using the work “write” loosely here, who knows if she can ever read) a memoir of her life. For what it’s worth, at least it’s appropriately titled:
What the Hell Was I Thinking?!! Confessions Of The World’s Most Controversial Sex Symbol
That’s a great question indeed Jasmin, er Rhea or whatever the hell your name is. First of all there are far better examples of controversial sex symbols than you (does Marilyn Monroe ring a bell?). Second, just stick with the porn and wrestling. It’s pretty out of character for me to outright slam someone on the site, I try my best to be open and accepting of all sorts of people and things (after all, I’ve never met a completely normal metalhead) but I just think she’s a disgrace to the community and a poor representation of what metal stands for; especially women. Ladies, I don’t know about you but I don’t want some porn star known for her gang bang scenes acting like she knows more about metal than Lemmy himself.
Anyone who knows me knows I love to bust on Shadows Fall. I just think they suck…and I always have. I remember first hearing them back in high school, and even my wittle ears back THEN knew that they sucked. But alas…they’re popular…they make money….“THEY SELL!!” as any PR/manager type will tell you. Yeah, yeah…. I still love to hate them.
Anyway, as the phrase Shadows FAIL quickly becomes a staple of my everyday vocabulary…I discovered something. The name has (sort of) already been taken. Behold: Norway’s own Where Shadows Fail.
There’s not much else to say besides, well…they suck too, and no one will ever be able to listen to or read about them without thinking of (duh) Shadows Fall. I never realized someone could shadFAIL harder than shadFAIL, but…there it is. Way to go, dudes.
AWWWWWW YEAHHHH BOIIIII *cough* I mean, uh… yeah, so let’s recap:
2/18/10- Valentine’s, Albany NY: If I could sum up this show in one sentence, it would be this- Sometimes you’ve gotta take the bad with the good. There were four bands on the bill: HOWL, Iron Age, Planet Eater, and of course, Skeletonwitch and out of all the shows I’ve been to in my life, I’ve never seen the two extremes of the likability scale come together like that. Let’s say it was like month-old moldy meat in between two of the freshest, most delicious, warm, wonderful pieces of bread you’ve ever tasted. Imagine that for a second people, and let’s move on to what I’m really talking about here…
Ummm….I cannot speak for anyone else but myself….but it’s like my own personal HELL. A set-up for a really bad joke, maybe? I understand a lot of people like these bands, but this tour will not get a cent out of me. No way, no how.
I don’t know why we end up talking about Lady Gaga so much or when it started, but at least it hasn’t gotten old for me yet.
Lady HooHah was on Oprah and performed a montage of her singles, but let’s just say it wasn’t the easiest performance of her life.
EXHIBIT A: The Outfit. I see where you’re going with this, Ms. Halford, but it seems as if the metal equally rebels against her when it immediately starts falling off and ruins her dance routine (FF to 2:38 to see when she gets a distracted). And lastly the outfit tries to abort itself around 4:04 when you can see that the entire backside of it is unzipped.
EXHIBIT B: The Ball and Chain. I’m pretty sure the idea was to smash the windshield of the car, but after several less than stellar attempts, she just decides to give up (FF to 3:30). I wish she would do the same with her hair and just RELAX.
I would feel sorry for her, Oprah is a pretty big deal to most people. But then I remember that it’s wintertime and she still refuses to wear pants. Can’t have sympathy for that.
Oh yeah, you read that correctly. This is not a joke.
Ok, everyone. January is almost upon us, which means only one thing to me: AMERICAN IDOL IS BACK!!!!!!! I love this damn show, and I’m sure people despise me because of it….but this crap is like football season for me, so let’s get our head in the game:
In addition to the multitude of metal, music, fashion and gossip sites I read, I also follow a fair share of blogs devoted strictly to American Idol. Recently, these sites have been buzzing with leaked info on contestants that have made it past certain levels of the competition for the upcoming season. Today, mjsbigblog posted the deetz on a fellow named Daniel Murillo. They sure dug up the dirt on him: pictures, social networks, Youtube links…you name it. As it turns out, Mr. Murillo used to be a member of a band called Lorene Drive.
SNL wasn’t bringin’ a whole lot of funny last night. I suppose it’s because the writers were too busy staring at host Blake Lively’s rack to actually come up with something entertaining. (Can you blame them? Those things are mesmerizing.)
One thing I did appreciate, however, was this parody they did of The Gathering of The Juggalos trailer that everyone was so obsessed with this Summer. (Which, btw, is no longer on Youtube…WHAT HAPPENED TO IT??) Not the funniest thing ever, and about 5 months too late, but I applaud the effort. I wonder what Mrs. Potato Dick would actually sound like….?
First I heard about that crapfest Dead By April, then there was Chester Bennington’s new super cool jam Dead By Sunrise…and I’m not sure how long this band has been around, but they’re called Dead By Wednesday.
These guys’ music is arguably the best of all three, but still…the names. By what standards is it a good idea to call your band something like that? I don’t have much else to say. I’ll just let these people continue to embarrass themselves. I think I know a dessert I can name my band after…
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