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Reign in Blonde [noun; plural] - Two tall, blonde chicks who bring the metal. We're not know-it-alls, and we don't report the news. This is our blog where we simply discuss what's on our brutal minds. Bon Appetit.

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THE CREATORS


Julia

Scorpio, 24

reigninjulia@gmail.com

LIKES: Lamb of God, margaritas, beardos, reality TV crap, & sour gummy bears. See also: UVTV.

Julia's Best of 2009
Julia's Best of 2010

Click here to read Julia's posts.
Click here to scrobble with Julia on Last.fm.



Elise

Leo, 26


reigninelise@gmail.com

LIKES: Mike Patton, ice cream, cheeseburgers, Ricky Nelson, tweenz & The Shaggs.

Elise's Best of 2009
Elise's Best of 2010

Click here to read Elise's posts.

METAL ELITE

About.com Heavy Metal
Baroque Bleak Brutal
Bazillion Points Blog
Belly Full of Hell
Blabbermouth
Blood and Shutter
Brave Words
Brooklyn Vegan
BUDDYHEAD
BUZZGRINDER
Crustcake
The Daily Swarm
The Deciblog
Demon Pigeon
English Waffle
Faith No More 2.0
Frantik Mag
The Gauntlet
Hard Rock Chick
Headbangers Blog
hearwax.
The Heaviest Matter of the Universe
Hipsters Out of Metal!
Illogical Contraption
Invisible Oranges
Lambgoat
The Metal Crew
Metal For All
Metal Hammer
Metal Injection
Metal Inquisition
Metal Insider
Metal Underground
Metalcakes
MetalSucks
The Necro Files
NO CLEAN SINGING
NO YOKO NO
Noisecreep
The Number of the Blog
Piercing Metal
The PRP
Raise Your Horns to Asgarth
Road Runner Idiot
Rock-a-Rolla
SHADOWS FAIL
Showered and Blue-Blazered
SkullsNBones
SMN News
Spinelanguage
Stubbadub
Sunyata Mindful of Metal
To Eleven
Thrash Hits
UVTV
WHIPLASH! HEAVY! METAL!
Zena Metal

OTHER SITES WE LIKE

Absolute Punk
And Now an Update
BACONJEW
B L O G U E
Consequence of Sound
Ecocomics
Gawker
Geekologie
GREAT BURGER CONQUEST
Hipster Wife Hunting
Idolator
Jezebel
McSweeney's
Runaway Theologian
Stuff You Will Hate
Topless Robot
Vote For the Worst






Rock Blog Directory

IN CASE YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF THAT MANLINESS IS HOT

Oh boy, is this one a doozy. Talk about right up my alley! (Literally and metaphorically? I can’t believe I just typed that.)

I’ve said it before; I LOVE documentaries. Morgan Spurlock (the guy that is solely responsible for me not eating any fast food in the last 10 years) is taking is docu-magic to a different level a-la the opposite of Chris Rock’s Good Hair- which btw, is a must see for any female. Mansome is all about male grooming- a topic which the metal community knows more than they think they know about. I’m not so much on the metro-sexual, tanning, eyebrow threading kind of male grooming, but the idea of delving into why men choose to look the way they do via their body hair is something I have to watch. It’s like Beardo PORN!!!

Metal dudes definitely have a unique take on what makes them so “mansome”. So my brothers, what is it that you got that makes the girls go crazy?

-Julia

REIGN IN BLOOD. DOWN UNDER.

Oh, I’m sorry. Good morning, all. Luckily for you, this report isn’t as gross as the title eludes to. But I got you to wake up, didn’t I?

Slayer will be performing Reign in Blood from start to finish. AWESOME. Not so awesome? They’re doing it in AUSTRAILIA of all places. Dude, none of you are Austrailian, and we Americans (and blondes and non-blondes) love you. Do it HERE. And by here, I mean New York, NY, USA.

Maybe Elise and I can use our girly charm to convince one of our fave bald-headed beardos, Kerry King to change their plans. What do you say, boys? You’ve spent 20 years reigning in blood. It’s time for you to reign in blonde.

Call us.

-Julia

HOT METAL DUDE MAKEOVERS

According to Reign in Blonde’s Analytics, our most viewed post is a list we concocted on who we think are the hottest dudes in metal.  I found this rather funny.  So considering that all you dudes are just THAT concerned with this subject, I’m going to offer a couple more names.

Since composing that list, I’ve noticed that there are two men in metal who have altered their appearance in such a way that make them now eligible for my list.  Julia, as we all know, likes her men hairy, and she’s not the only one.  But I tend to steer things in the opposite direction: the less hair, the better.  Here are my addendums:

Satyr (Satyricon)

The last image I pretty much had of Satyr before seeing Satyricon this past February was the typical long-haired, snow white-skinned Norwegian black metal dude.  The video for “K.I.N.G.” off their last album, Now, Diabolical didn’t exactly make me want to throw myself at him.  But when Satyricon took the stage at the Nokia Theatre that night (promoting their newest album, The Age of Nero), I was dazzled by Satyr’s new slicked back haircut (which he has apparently had for a while now, whoops).  He also had no corpse paint on, so he was just daaamn handsome.  A friend of mine pointed out that he kind of looks like a Nazi, but hey, who have those people ever pissed off?  Yo Satyr….your ‘Black Crow,’ my ‘Tombstone?’  Ehh?

Jon Hudson (Faith No More)

Ok, so most people were pretty pissed when they found out that Jim Martin wasn’t going to be participating in the Faith No More reunion.  Replacement guitarist Jon Hudson isn’t quite considered the true FNM guitarist.  But as pictures and video began to surface of their recent shows in Europe, I was struck by one major thing: There is now a bald man in Faith No More. If you read this blog regularly, you know that this makes me very very happy.  My favorite band has now achieved ultimate perfection:  1.) Mike Patton, 2.) Fabulous rhythm section, 3.) Cool gay dude, and 4.) HOT ASS BALD MAN.  Yay’s all around.

It’s amazing what a difference a little trim can make!  Now, I’m not saying all you beasts out there should get a hair cut (I’m not your damn mother), but…it might be worth a shot.  :)

-Elise

Elise and I might have to fight this one out- I think Howard Jones wants us to compete for his love. 

KsE’s new video is out, and it’s official. Howard is now both a baldie AND a beardo. That plus the fact that he’s a good looking specimen in general and we love his voice… near perfection. However, MetalSucks is claiming that the new vid is a lot like the ones for “My Curse” and “Rose of Sharyn” and I disagree. The band jams in every video, but that’s about it. In fact, if someone could explain the whole bookshelf in the desert thing in the “My Curse” video to me, I’d appreciate it.

Killswitch Engage’s new album drops June 30th.

-Julia

05.06.09  Gojira w. The Chariot & Car Bomb @ Gramercy Theatre - New York, NY

Bonjour, Messieurs & Mademoiselles!  I’m French now.  Didn’t you hear?

The Gojira show the other night was tres magnifique.  I went to a show of theirs once before about 3 years ago, but….I don’t quite remember it.  Julia and I were kinda nutty that evening.  Neither of us really watched Gojira.  I couldn’t tell you how it was.  Our bad.

I rolled up into that venue with two bald men.  You can imagine my delight.  We watched the first band, Car Bomb, on the monitor downstairs by the bar.  I have no comment on them, but I did get involved in a discussion on what an incredible shit hole the Crocodile Rock in Allentown, PA is.  Julia went there to see Nightwish last week and had similar things to say about it.  Note to self…. ::scribbles::  Not that I was planning a trip to Amish country anytime soon, but ya know…

The Chariot are another band I have seen before, but again, do not remember.  That was more of a nothing-to-write-home-about sort of thing.  The band did not look or sound anything like what I actually did remember.  They’re a fun live band nowadays, it seems.  I’m not sure if the music itself is ladyjizz-worthy.  One of the guitar players kept climbing on the speaker…and proceeded to NOT jump off and break his ass.  Sort of anticlimactic.  They’re okay.  I doubt they’d ever be anyone’s favorite band or anything, but they get a passing grade, I suppose.

Onto Gojira.  Now there’s a band that knows how to work my shit.  Everyone describes their live sound as really heavy.  They’re right.  It’s so…THICK.  They dabbled in songs from each of their albums.  I don’t remember hearing anything from The Link, but don’t quote me on that.  The video above is a snippet of the fan favorite, “Flying Whales.”  WHAAAAAAALES!!!

As I stood and watched them, I couldn’t help but think about all of this American Idol mumbo jumbo about “artistry” and what exactly an artist’s “place” is within the industry.  Julia told me how “nerdy” the crowd was at the Nightwish show.  It makes sense, since, Nightwish are a pretty nerdy band (mostly for chicks and gay men)….but lots of bands have a nerd type of feel to them.  I don’t hate it, it’s cool.  That’s ‘what they are.’  But Gojira?  They don’t vibe me even one little bit of nerdy or doucheyness.  They’re just…cool.  Not Metallica-or-Heaven-and-Hell-we-got-lots-of-money type of cool.  They are just solid musicians who deserve every ounce of credit they have ever gotten.  I mean, the nerdiest thing about them is that they’re French, but….are we really gonna go there?  They encored with “Vacuity,” which I think would be a perfect song to drag a dead body to.

Merci beaucoup, Gojira.  A bientot.

-Elise

Boooooooooooo bring on the baldies! (via GraphJam)
-Elise

Boooooooooooo bring on the baldies! (via GraphJam)

-Elise

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh

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