Our buddy Bram over at MetalInsider.net wrote an article that brought up an interesting point yesterday. Here’s the cliffnotes for it if you’re feeling lazy: One of Bram’s buddies does merch for tours- but not always for bands he likes- and recently spotted a dude in a Behemoth shirt at a Norah Jones show (Exhibit A, below)
And then two thoughts occurred to me-
- “I haven’t really worn a lot of my band shirts in a while…”
- “Interesting point, my dear Watson!”
First, I realized that I almost never wear band merch to a show. Nowadays I usually rock that shit when I’m just lounging around or running errands. But more importantly, I think it would be more fun to wear said clothing in places it “doesn’t belong” (i.e. Phish and all assorted other hippie dippy/jam band shows). I would totally wear a Behemoth shirt if I was dragged to Norah Jones (though I’d rather see her than a lot of other artists. You know, she IS someone with actual talent), and this summer I now plan to wear my LoG gear to Phish and Furthur. Not necessarily in protest, and not really to prove any point, just because I’m not gonna wear a tie-dye skirt and lesbian sandals Birkenstocks just so I can fit in with the crowd. When have I ever even fit in at a metal show?
Have you ever purposely “dressed the part” at a show?
-Julia
So you’re driving in your car on your way to grab a case of Miller Lite. Casually flipping through the stations, and all of a sudden Lamb of God starts pumping through your speakers. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” you say, “did I accidentally press ‘disc’? Whats…going…on?” We, as metalheads, are ‘lucky’ to have a genre we can call OURS. Metal isn’t blowing up the radio, but when it does come on, do you get excited, or do you get angry? I would like to address just how selfish our genre really is, and ask all of our readers the question: is this greed justified?
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Well well well, looks like the love bug is going around these here metal parts. Wedding season is typically in the spring/early summer months, but I guess that cheesy pretty shit doesn’t fly for us. Getting married in the DEAD OF FREEZING COLD WINTER? Sounds like a pretty brutal idea, or perhaps a new song title idea for Mayhem… OR rather, Behemoth?
Couple #1: Nergal and Polish popstar Doda. In the summer we heard about this bizarre romance, but now rumor has it that the two are engaged. ENGAGED. I understand the excitement of being with someone completely opposite than yourself. But these two strike me as extremely different as can be. I guess they both like music… and… Poland?
Couple #2: Trivium’s Matt Heafy sealed the deal this past weekend in home state of Florida. Yay! -and that’s all I’ve got for you.
Couple #3: Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood got engaged too. Alright, then. I’m gonna be honest with you- I like Evan Rachel Wood, and I don’t completely dislike Marilyn Manson. But these two have been on and off and I don’t think their future looks too bright. Plus, she and I are the same age, and I can’t imagine dating or marrying someone who’s old enough to be my dad. If she gets pregnant it’ll be EPIC. Marilyn Manson as a DAD?!? THAT I’d LOVE to see.
Well bros, go ahead and kiss the bride, but try not to smudge her makeup. Or yours.
-Julia
Ever since Julia informed me that Nergal of Behemoth was dating some cheesy Polish pop star named Doda, I’ve taken a small interest in her. Jezebel just posted some pictures from last week’s MTV Europe Music Awards and you’ll never guess who was there…..or what she was wearing:
Perhaps the title of “The Polish Britney Spears” isn’t quite as on point as “The Polish Lady Gaga.” Here she is, “unmasked” …..
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Just when I thought Julia and I were the most boy-crazy-metal-dude-lovin’ chicks on the internet, I came across another blog called Dillinger’s Run which has a feature titled “Extreme Metal Hunks.” Why am I bringing this to your attention? Well, this blog just so happens to be written by a dude, an allegedly heterosexual dude who has let his boy crushes go as far as even planning dream dates with these guys. Check out some of these excerpts:
Troy Sanders (Mastodon) - “…the two of you journey together discussing things such as anthropology and the latest Bruce Willis film, Surrogates - which you both agree did the job it set out to do and was enjoyable despite any complaints about the trailer giving away most of the film’s plot.”
Chris Barnes (Cannibal Corpse) - “He offers you weed…..Sure, you’re nervous at first but it all comes naturally. As you breath deeply you a great “power” fills you and the thought hits your head: this is a the dankest dope God could make.”
Nergal (Behemoth) - “He makes polite conversation about about the pricing of leathers now a days, you laugh at the ratio of his witty remarks against his broken english.”
Mike Patton (Faith No More, Fantomas, etc.) - “He tells you to meet him in the park - more like commands you to do so - and so you do……Yeah. You will get to fuck this guy later tonight.”
But of course, I only tease this guy because I think he is absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work, dude. If you’re reading this, feel free to email me. Perhaps you could help plan a date for my girl crush and I.
-Elise
