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Reign in Blonde [noun; plural] - Two tall, blonde chicks who bring the metal. We're not know-it-alls, and we don't report the news. This is our blog where we simply discuss what's on our brutal minds. Bon Appetit.

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STARRING


Julia

Scorpio, 22

reigninjulia@gmail.com

LIKES: Lamb of God, margaritas, beardos, reality TV crap, & sour gummy bears. See also: UVTV.

Click here to read Julia's posts.



Elise

Leo, 24


reigninelise@gmail.com

LIKES: Mike Patton, ice cream, cheeseburgers, Ricky Nelson, tweenz & The Shaggs.

Click here to read Elise's posts.

WITH APPEARANCES BY


Angela Gossowski

Libra, 24

reigninangela@gmail.com
@GiantFag

LIKES: Booze, all things offensive, Mastodon, metal concerts, talking to idiots, and shopping.

Click here to read Angela's column: STRAIGHT OUTTA DETWAT!

METAL ELITE

About.com Heavy Metal
Baroque Bleak Brutal
Bazillion Points Blog
Belly Full of Hell
Blabbermouth
Blood and Shutter
Brave Words
Brooklyn Vegan
BUDDYHEAD
BUZZGRINDER
Crustcake
The Daily Swarm
The Deciblog
Demon Pigeon
English Waffle
Faith No More 2.0
Frantik Mag
The Gauntlet
Hard Rock Chick
Headbangers Blog
hearwax.
Hipsters Out of Metal!
Illogical Contraption
Invisible Oranges
Lambgoat
Metal For All
Metal Hammer
Metal Injection
Metal Inquisition
Metal Insider
Metal Underground
Metalcakes
MetalSucks
The Necro Files
NO CLEAN SINGING
NO YOKO NO
Noisecreep
The Number of the Blog
Piercing Metal
The PRP
Raise Your Horns to Asgarth
Road Runner Idiot
Rock-a-Rolla
SHADOWS FAIL
Showered and Blue-Blazered
SkullsNBones
SMN News
Spinelanguage
Stubbadub
Sunyata Mindful of Metal
To Eleven
Thrash Hits
UVTV
WHIPLASH! HEAVY! METAL!
Zena Metal

OTHER SITES WE LIKE

Absolute Punk
And Now an Update
BACONJEW
B L O G U E
Consequence of Sound
Ecocomics
Gawker
Geekologie
GREAT BURGER CONQUEST
Hipster Wife Hunting
Idolator
Jezebel
McSweeney's
Runaway Theologian
Stuff You Will Hate
Topless Robot
Vote For the Worst






Rock Blog Directory

DON’T WORRY BRET MICHAELS, IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US

I’ve watched all three seasons of Rock of Love. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve listened to Poison when I’ve wanted nothin’ but a gooood time. How can I resist? Well, it looks like Mr. Michaels and I might have something in common besides our luscious blonde hair…

According to BW&BK, last night at his show at Sea World (uh, yeah. Sea World) in San Antonio, Tejas, Bret was complaining of some stomach pains that he thought were symptoms of a flu. After being forced to go to the hospital, however, it was discovered that he actually had acute appendicitis and was rushed into emergency surgery. It’s reported that he’s in recovery now and doing just fine.

I feel ya, Bret. Except I wasn’t as lucky. Two years ago, I too said goodbye to my appendix. But, sucks for me, by the time someone figured out what was wrong, my appendix had BURST and subsequently I was in and out of the hospital for two months until I finally had it taken out. Nothing say “SpRiNg BrEaK!!*!*!” quite like an apendectomy and some pains pills.

So listen, kids, we can’t all be as cool as Bret Michaels. If you start feeling an intense stabbing pain in your tummy that keeps just getting worse, just suck it up and go to the hopsital. A ruptured appendix may be brutal, but it sure ain’t pretty.

-Julia

MARILYN MANSON? MORE LIKE MARILYN MICHAELS

Oy vey. Today on Perez Hilton (yes, Perez Hilton) the latest video from Marilyn Manson was posted and obviously Mr. Perezzers has major issues with it. As if the title of “Despicable Marilyn Manson Promotes Domestic Abuse!” isn’t descriptive enough, he says:

He probably did this hoping to get some controversy and press for his hasbeen musical career, but that doesn’t justify his actions!

“Shock” rocker Marilyn Manson remind the world why he’s no longer relevant in his new music video, in which he violently beats and murders a girl that looks just like his ex-girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood.

Not shocking - just disgusting!

I couldn’t embed the actual video, but you can watch it HERE. I have two issues with this video, and neither have to do with the “domestic abuse”

  1. This video is BORING AS SHIT.
  2. Call me crazy, but it sounds A LOT like this:

Maybe Manson is also a Rock of Love fan. WHO ISN’T?!?

-Julia

UNSKINNY BOP, INDEED

Season 3 of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice just started filming here in NYC, and none other than rockstar reality whore, Bret Michaels, was spotted today selling $100 hamburgers (for charity, I assume) out on E 53rd.

When will the shenanigans cease, I ask you? Haven’t you had enough meat in your life life the past couple of years? Well, I guess fur burgers don’t really amount to a “nutritious” diet…

Best of luck, Bret!

-Julia

THE BRET MICHAELS OF FOOTBALL

Before a show, artists and fans alike have various rituals to pump themselves up. We get the stigma of being “violent”, but really our “pump up” is more of a pregame if you feel me. I guess metal meathead Owen Schmitt of the Seattle Seahawks tried to steal our stereotype and got a little too violent, pregame. According to MyFox National:

“Schmitt was so pumped up for the game that he pounded his helmet into his forehead several times after coming out of the tunnel in pregame introductions. Schmitt then ran into the middle of his teammates with blood covering his entire face and whipped them into a frenzy.” Brutal.

Well, the Seahawks went on the massacre the Jacksonville Jaguars 41-0 so uh… I guess maybe Schmitt’s reign in blood tactic wasn’t so bad afterall. Play on, (football) playa.

-Julia

BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS

I have what you might call a mild hatred towards Perez Hilton.  The guy is just annoying, can’t spell, and never knows what the hell he is talking about.  (It’s respectively, asshole.)  However, I support the shit out of him as a gay American.  (That’s pageant language for those who don’t know.)  Anyway, in honor of his new music tour, Ms. Hilton has launched this new line of t-shirts, including the Perezig and Peroison designs.  And MAN are they gay!

Seriously, this is disgusting.  Anyone who buys these should have real jizz put on their face.

-Elise

P.S.  Did I really just defend Bret Michaels?  I want my mother.

So you think band-aids aren’t brutal? What about LEATHER band-aids?
Maybe Bret Michaels should invest in some of these… But I can’t help thinking that someone more like Rob Halford thought these things up. Let’s be real- I’d buy em.
-Julia

So you think band-aids aren’t brutal? What about LEATHER band-aids?

Maybe Bret Michaels should invest in some of these… But I can’t help thinking that someone more like Rob Halford thought these things up. Let’s be real- I’d buy em.

-Julia

So Bret, are you showing us that you’re geared up and ready for the next round of Rock of Love? Elise and I won’t be able to make the auditions, we’ve got to uh… condition our hair. And my dog died. Eh, maybe next year…
-Julia

So Bret, are you showing us that you’re geared up and ready for the next round of Rock of Love? Elise and I won’t be able to make the auditions, we’ve got to uh… condition our hair. And my dog died. Eh, maybe next year…

-Julia

Since I know most of you aren’t quite as lame as I am and watched the Tony’s tonight, I needed to share this video of Bret Michaels nearly losing his head (literally).  Ouch.

Hmmm…Rock of Love: The Musical…?  ::Shrug::  It could happen.

-Elise

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

An open letter to Mr. Bret Michael Sychak:

After two seasons of Rock of Love (and now Rock of Love Bus) and roughly 60 different women all competing for your affection, I have just one question for you:

WHAT. EXACTLY. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?!?!?!

Let me make this easier for you. They’re ALL bimbos. They’ll ALL sleep with you. Just pick one that’s not a total dog and has a vocabulary of more than 100 words… and wear a condom.

You can thank me later,

<3 Julia

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh

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