PLAY HALLOWEEN DRESS-UP WITH YOUR FAVORITE METAL PEEPS!

Julia and I have been fussing over what we’re going to wear for Halloween, but what about the metal folk?  What are they wearing?  Do any of them even dress up?  I’d like to think so, so….I’ve taken the liberty of picking out a few costumes for them.  I could do this with so many people, but for the sake of being brief, I’ve decided to work with just a select few that I find attractive.

Up first (of course), we have Satyr of Satyricon.  He’s usually quiet as a mouse, so why not dress up as the most famous one of them all…Mickey!

I’ll be Minnie and we can go as a pair!  Aww how adorable, and grim!

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I WISH SIMONE SIMONS WOULD “UNLEASH” ON ME

Yet again during my subway ride this morning, I got checked out by some butch lesbians.  I mean no offense if any of you reading this happen to fall into that category, but I simply cannot accomodate you, and I apologize.  (Helloooo….where the peen at?)

But let’s get one thing straight.  If Simone Simons wanted to follow me around, like she’s following the guy in this video…I would definitely be okay with that.  I am so gaga over that girl, it makes me wish I actually liked her band more.  Oh well.  The song is called “Unleashed” which is on Epica’s new album, Design Your Universe.  Hopefully they’ll keep the videos-a-comin’!

Red-headed women are very intimidating to me.  I’m not quite sure why.

[via Shockwaves.]

-Elise

DO EPICA NOT REALIZE WHY PEOPLE LIKE THEM?

[via Blabbermouth.]

This is the newly unveiled cover art for Epica’s upcoming album, Design Your Universe.

Alright, so Epica aren’t really all that great or anything (I’m not a big fan of most femme metal, anyway), but where the hell do they get off making yet another album cover that doesn’t have Simone Simons’ hotness on it?  I have somewhat ofa huge girl crush on that firecrotch, so it kind of annoys me that that her band is now trying to downplay her and attempt to be taken, ya know, seriously.

Let’s review some past artwork:

YES

Hello there <3

NO

Zzzzzzzzzzz

Almost…

THERE IT IS!

Womp wommmppppp.

Also, allow me to count down the top 2 reasons why no man will ever love me:

Nice…….hair.

-Elise