OHAI! I HAVE PLANS FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY WEEKEND

(screen cap courtesy of Metal Insider)

Nothing to say, as of now.  It’s months away.  I’m stoked as fuck, of course…and I’m pretty sure nothing could make this better.

Oh wait…

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I DON’T KNOW THE LYRICS TO “DON’T DREAM IT’S OVER,” BUT MIKE PATTON SURE DOES

Faith No More have added a new cover to their set list on the current Aussie/NZ leg of their “Second Coming” tour.  It’s Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over.”  I’m all for beltin’ out the chorus to this song, but I have never EVER known the lyrics to the verses.  I’d say the same for the other cover they had been doing: “Reunited.”  Buncha kooky motherfuckers.  Whatever, still sounds good.

Makes me wonder what they’ll play when they’re finally here in the Northeast. (And not some stupid hipster jam fest in the desert.)

My vote is for “Tarzan Boy.”  Tell me that wouldn’t be awesome.

-Elise

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKE PATTON!

Mike Patton: the man, the legend…turns 42 today.  Kinda makes ya wonder if he’s hit his Midlife Crisis yet.  Snort, snort.

Happy Birthday, Mikey!  See you in a few months, hopefully.

<3 Elise

THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY FAITH NO MORE TRIBUTE BANDS

I’ve been sitting here, waiting and wishing for these damn FNM tour dates to be announced so I can finally think about something else….and my friend sends this my way: A Small Victory, a FNM tribute band from right here in Brooklyn.  AWESOME!  Sort of.  They sound kinda ehhh.  Well, they have a show at Club Europa with a PRIMUS tribute band next Friday.  I’m not sure I can go, but…dude.

There’s a bunch more FNM tributes out there.  Here are the ones I know of:

Fake No More:  Netherlands.

The Fake Thing:  Chicago.

Woodpecker From Mars:  Santa Barbara.

Musically, they’re all…whatever, but those damn vocalists are pretty set on trying to mimic Mike Patton as best they can.  What sorts of people are these that spend a good chunk of their time pretending to be Mike Patton?  What goes through their mind?  Maybe I should try to score an interview with A Small Victory’s singer….get inside his head a little.  I guess it’s about as close as I’ll get to the real thing.  Snort, snort.

Aaand with that, I shall leave you with something topical that I found on the Faith No More 2.0 blog.  They are totally TEAM CONAN.

As for me….I’m an old lady who can’t even stay up that late anymore, anyway.

-Elise

SOUTH AMERICANS ARE GREEDY

I am currently enduring a new hectic schedule.  I do this thing at my new job….it’s called WORK. (Wow!)  Quite a change from my last gig.  I am also experiencing the worst sinus headache known to man.  I am grumpy.  Seems like a fine time to start whining…

Welcome to another installment of “Elise bitches about not having seen Faith No More yet.”  South America recently got their fix of my favorite band, and since they had such a jolly good time (and who can blame them?), petitions from both Chile and Brazil have now started circulating the internet to get them to come back.  Thoughts:

1. Can we Northerners have a go first?  Stop hogging all the fun.
2. Even after they play here…just how long is this reunion supposed to last that they might decide to actually return to South America? I was under the impression that this wasn’t going to be super long-term.  Not that I’d mind, but still.
3. Do petitions ever actually work? I can’t recall ever seeing one that did.

Bleehhhhh I want to die.  I’m hoping to be back in fighting form soon. My nose feels like it’s going to explode.  WAAHHHH

-Elise

P.S. Happy belated birthday, Puffy!

WHERE WE AT??

You may (or may not) have noticed that we were a little slow this week. There are a couple of reasons for this, but things will pick up soon enough.  Julia’s in Kentucky this weekend, and I’ll be throwin’ more than a few back here in New York.  I’m checking out some Skeletonwitch tomorrow evening, which should be just divine.

As for next week, we have something very very special planned that we’re pretty sure you’ll all enjoy.  So keep it here!  It’s gonna be good.

Until then…please enjoy this new footage of Faith No More playing a show in Mexico a few nights ago.  They wore some silly masks during their first song, and still managed to sound way better than Slipknot!

See you Monday!

-Elise

HIYA BARBIE!

A company called Doll Attic is releasing some special rock star dolls for the upcoming holiday season.  you can have your pick of Joan Jett, Debbie Harry or Cyndi Lauper.  I’m definitely not going to spend $36 on something like this, but it’s still pretty cool.  I think doll Joan is a whole lot better looking than the real Joan, but that’s just me.  [via Jezebel]

I always stuck with plan ol’ regular blonde Barbie when I was a kid.  I’d never buy the brunette, redhead, or black girl versions, because for me, part of the fun of playing with dolls was having the sense that they kinda looked like me.  Even though….her limbs weren’t totally bendy, all her clothes were closed with velcro, and her boobs—even in doll form—were way bigger than mine.  Good times.

Ehh, I’d rather have these, anyway:

<3

-Elise

HIGH FIVE, DAVE EGGERS!

So I, like the rest of you, wanted to jump on my bed like a 6-year old when I read Billy Gould’s Tweet yesterday:

Tweet THIS: In response to all of our concerned US brethren…YES…we yare now actively planning US dates.

It’s really happening!  But I’ll try to keep calm until the actual date is set, or for…ya know, the actual show.  I am totally going to lose my voice that night…whenever it is.

Anyway, today I discovered via Consequence of Sound that Dave Eggers, of all people, is quite the Faith No More fan.  Check out this tweetage from earlier this month with Roddy Bottum:

I love when people from other realms of society are into the same shit as me.  Some people seem really insulted by it, but I think it’s awesome to see how many shapes and sizes we metal fans come in.  We got Ryan Adams, Demi Lovato, and now Dave friggin’ Eggers.  (Anyone out there dig McSweeney’s as much as I do?)  Little did I know, he’s actually a very big all-around music fan.  Awesome.  I suppose this means it’s “smart” to like this stuff.

::flips hair::

-Elise

OH HEY CAN YOU NOT DO THAT

I think I’m about to lose my breakfast.

Ya know, just the other day I was thinking…”Chuck Mosley era Faith No More still doesn’t get enough respect.”  The guy put out a new album this year, and I haven’t listened to it besides snippets found online, but it didn’t sound too bad.  I had no friggin’ clue there was a “We Care A Lot REMIX” on it!  Jeez.

It’s not the most awful thing in the world, but if this is any indication of what Faith No More may have sounded like if Chuck never left the band and Mikey never stepped in….oof.  The *punch* is gone and we’re left with something a bit more slow and drag-y.

I get that it’s his song, and he has the rights to do whatever he wants with it, but I think we’d all agree that he got it right the first time.  He’s just going to make a lot of people angry.  Then again, I suppose he’ll take any press he can get these days.

-Elise

THE COMEBACKS KEEP ON A COMIN’

My heart is all aflutter at today’s *breaking* news that post-hardcore legends JAWBOX will be reuniting on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday, December 8th.  When the lottery opens for Fallon’s Band Bench, I’ll definitely be putting in for that.

Not metal, you say?  Oh well.  I have my foot way into the door of this kind of stuff too and I’m thrilled to bits.

This year has been the year of comebacks.  Every time I turn around, I hear about another band that is reuniting.  (I guess a recession will do that.)  Faith No More, of course, was the one I cared about the most.  I’ve watched so many of their new live videos over the past few months and have been overcome with such immense joy that they still look and sound so good.  (Do I even need to say it again?) PLAY IN AMERICA!!!!

As for new albums, Coelesce’s new jam, Ox has more than secured a spot on my Best of ‘09 list, He is Legend managed to finally make a fan out of me, and did we mention that SLAAAAYER are about to once again paint this world blood blonde?  Yippy!

And then there’s Alice in Chains.  As I sat in bed listening to Black Give Way to Blue last night, I couldn’t feel like I was back in my bedroom at my parents’ house, locked away, doing my homework, blasting whatever post-grunge or alternative rock I was into back then.  Even without Layne (a man capable of causing me physical pain—in a good way— when he sings), Alice in Chains still sound like ALICE IN CHAINS.  It’s such a duhhhh statement, but it’s true and it makes my smart ass all mushy.  I followed that up with a listen of Dirt.  And then KISS were on Letterman.  Well….no one ever said that all comebacks were created equal.  AMIRITE??

So how can the music world fulfill my desires further?  At the Drive-In?  Quicksand?  Refused? (Yeah, right.)  BTW, how are we doing on that Jackson 5 reunion?

What’s your order, chumps?  And who do you think had the best comeback this year?

-Elise

****UPDATE!!!!  Temple of the Dog now, too?  HHAHAHAHAHA