HEY ALL YOU LAME ‘METAL VEST’ WEAR-ERS OUT THERE

Where does your heart beat now, huh??

via Buzzfeed

-Elise

THE COMMON WOMAN’S “HEAVY METAL”

I just opened my email. As usual it was mostly junk- stuff about specials and sales here and there, facebook updates bs, and a chain email from my mother. However, I could use new boots for fall, so I actually opened my email announcing a sale and whatnot at endless.com. This is the first thing that popped in my face:

Cause there’s nothin more metal than… a fleur-de-lis? Good to know.

-Julia

COURTNEY LOVE WEARS CLOTHES

You know what? Since there’s really not a whole lot of new albums that I’ve been digging lately (seriously, everything sucks. I even tried listening to Tarja’s new album. I’m getting desperate, you guys), I’m just going to make it my goal to point out every website/blog that is more annoying than this one. Sound good? Alright then…

Last month, I posted a little diddy on the wife of Pentagram’s Bobby Liebling having a style blog. Well, I’m pretty sure she’s in the clear now, because Courtney LOVE has one too. It’s simply titled: What Courtney Love Wore Today, and yes, it is just as horrifying as you might expect it to be. There’s head scarves, vintage lingerie, black lace, and cigarettes galore. Most of the pictures are taken with her in super awkward poses in her messy bedroom or bathroom. I think it’s safe to say Ms. Love is the queen of TMI. I cannot imagine why anyone would look at this and think I WANNA LOOK LIKE THAT. But if you’ve ever seen the get ups that Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen’s been rockin’ lately, it seems that even some teen stars (at the peak of their youth, no less) want to look like a cracked-out 50-year old. So what the hell do I know…

Anyway, Courtney’s actually been doing a pretty good job of consistently updating this site. So maybe I shouldn’t knock the one responsible thing she’s done in the past decade or so. YAY COURT-COURT! You go grrrrl.

And just incase you haven’t already, check out the band Taylor Momsen started with a bunch of 35-year old men, The Pretty Reckless.

-Elise

OCEANO HAVE “COLOR”

DID YOU THINK THAT TITLE WAS MEANT TO BE RACIST??? You guyzzz, come on now…

I like how just a few days after I posted about Oceano’s Obama-esque tee, Earache’s PR dude emails me to make sure I’ve seen some other silly shirt they have available. So Earache, just for having a killer sense of humor….sure, I’ll post it.

It makes no reference to any current or former president, but I’d say it sure is nod to Jerry Garcia, or maybe Jimmy Buffett or Phish or some other jam band that people need weed to find enjoyable. Maybe hippie music and deathcore have something in common after all.

Check it out here if you wanna buy it. I sure hope there will be a matching hemp necklace to go with it.

-Elise

OCEANO 2012: YES WE CAN!

I was nothing short of terrified the first time I heard deathcore dum dums, Oceano, but I started to appreciate them quite a bit when my buddy Gary Suarez got the entire MetalSucks readership mad butthurt when he gave them a 5-star review. Ohhhh, internet commenters, I love you all so dearly. <3

Anyway, Earache Records recently put up this new Oceano t-shirt design that resembles the Obama logo, and I gotta say….I think I’m starting to develop an odd sort of fondness for these guys because this is seriously one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. Like, I’m pretty much impressed all over again because of it. Seriously, how many of you would do a double-take if you saw this randomly on the street? Best/easiest method of promotion ever.

Also, I love the way people defend their dislike of Oceano by saying “it’s not because they have a black singer. I’m not racist….blah blah.” Right, because, ya know…now that you felt the need to even bring that up, I totally believe you.

-Elise

METALLICA ON THE RUNWAY

So I guess I have a reader or two that don’t like it when I post about fashion. Well….GUESS WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT???

So another reader, Lise (nice name, btw), sent this clip in yesterday of a recent fashion show in Japan by a designer named Mikio Sakabe. Sakabe’s 2010 Spring/Summer collection was inspired by none other than…Metallica. Some ripped up tees were worked into the ensembles, and the models walked to an orchestral version of Master of Puppets. 

Like Lise said in her email, there’s nothing truly groundbreaking about this, and I’m sure most of you dudes will think this is stupid…but I honestly like quite a few of the looks. And even though the models are sort of made up like drowned rats, they’re definitely a lot hotter than most females you’ll find at a Metallica show. So there’s that. 

I guess this Metallica get-up from a previous post now makes a little more sense. Maybe the band is becoming sort of….fashionable? Or maybe they’re just the only heavy band that people from the mainstream actually know about and can associate with a “rock aesthetic?” Who knows… 

At any rate, I’m sure Lars would look bangin’ in those unicorn pants.

-Elise

P.S. Cradle of Filth beat them to it, anyway.

PENTAGRAM WIFEY CAN HAZ STYLE BLOG

Since the days of Lennon and Ono, it seems like rockers’ loved ones have a tendency to come off as a bit annoying. This is very much the case for Hallie Liebling, the very young wife of Pentagram frontman Bobby Liebling. I recently discovered that the Mrs had a style blog called Halcoholic. She basically just dresses herself in funky outfits and takes pictures.

I’m not typically one to judge another’s relationship or marital bliss, but I could tell right off the bat that this is the type of thing that Pentagram fans would find super irritating. Besides Boston Terriers, there really isn’t anything more hipster-ish than a style blog. And after reading a recent post on this topic over at Illogical Contraption, it’s clear that doomsters believe this relationship has made Bobby take a turn for the worst: musically and physically. Shelby Cobras writes:

Bobby is currently in the middle stages of the ultimate dignity-free cash-grab, and it appears that our hard-earned concert dough is funding some trust-fund bimbo hipster’s Endless Summer. That’s not cool, man.

Well…to each their own. Sometimes we do crazy things for love. If it’s a heavily accessorized lady that makes you happy, then I say roll with it.

Hmmm…kinda makes me wonder what other rock star wives could blog about. Like Perla Hudson? Or Mariqueen Maandig Reznor?

At any rate, aren’t chicks that blog *sooooooo* annoying, you guys? :)

-Elise

WHAT MILEY CYRUS WEARS WHEN SHE ‘RUNS TO THE HILLS’

pic via Jezebel

So uhhh…. I’m only posting this because I know this is the sort of thing that makes people mad for no reason. 

I don’t really understand why people get so bent out of shape when they see a celebrity wearing a band t-shirt. I mean, celebrities listen to music, too. And even though I doubt Miley’s heard their entire discography or anything…it’s Iron Maiden. They’ve sold millions upon millions of albums. They just sold out Madison Square Garden a few weeks ago. (As I’m sure they have many times before.) So like, I’m pretty sure lots of people have heard of them. Even tween stars.

Also, it’s now possible to go and pick up an Iron Maiden shirt somewhere as easily accessible as Urban Outfitters. And as much as many of you might be inclined to call someone a “poser” for buying a shirt under those circumstances…what about the bands? I mean, I’m no lawyer or anything, but doesn’t Iron Maiden have to *approve* something like that? Like, doesn’t the band have to sign off on giving someone rights to their logo? Maybe it doesn’t make the consumer a “poser” as much as it makes Iron Maiden seem like a bunch of sell-outs. But then again, I DGAF….it’s just Iron Maiden. No skin off my nose if they know what’s gonna make them more bank. More power to them.

Maybe I’d be a little bit more put off by a celeb in a band tee if it were something more obscure or unusual. If I see Selena Gomez wearing a Mercyful Fate shirt, then I’ll think somethin’ is up. But let’s face it, an Iron Maiden shirt is about as safe as a classic black tee.

Anyway…Ms. Cyrus was also recently seen rockin’ Cheap Trick and Bowie shirts. Whatever. She just bein’ Miley…

-Elise

GUITARS FOR THE VERTICALLY CHALLENGED

It seems like every time I turn around, someone is coming up with some way to create an instrument that only *resembles* playing the guitar. I don’t get it. Does no one want to learn an actual instrument anymore? Anyway, the latest example I’ve encountered are these high-heeled shoes by Chicks on Speed with functioning electric guitar strings built in. I mean, I guess it’s cool you can play music on these bad boys, because I sure as hell couldn’t walk in them. 

Guys…is this sexy? Would you want your lady to wear these? Maybe when it was naughty time? Did I really just type “naughty time?” Do you kind of wish they weren’t in a 3OH!3 color scheme and came in a classic black instead? How many of you gals reading would put these monstrous things on and still be nowhere near as tall as me? I’m guessing most of you.

via BLOGUE

-Elise

BAD GROUPIE FASHION

I’m not a big fashionista or anything, but as I always like to say: “I don’t wear ugly crap.” BLOGUE seems to suit my limited interest in fashion since it’s never too snooty and they frequently post a lot of stuff that with a cool “rawk” aesthetic. But they boggled my mind recently when they posted these flared lace pants (by With Hearts in My Eyes) paired with an old skewl Metallica tee.

Now I’ve seen some horrendous choices of apparel at shows, but holy bejeez WHO WOULD WEAR THESE?? I’d say Lady Gaga or someone, but let’s face it: they’re way too conservative. I’m unsure as to whether or not any legit female Metallica fan is anywhere near skinny enough to pull these off. But then again….if they still give a crap about Metallica, they probably have no shame anyway.

Ladies, would you wear these? ….SRSLY?

-Elise