THE NEWEST MEMBER OF RiB??  UH, NO.

Good mornin’, y’all.  Well, I’ve had somewhat of a LIFE these past few days, so I missed my favorite Summertime replacement this week.  And since I seem to be the only person in the metal blogosphere who is pop culture-inclined and actually knows who Demi Lovato is, I feel like it is my duty to to keep you all on the up-n-up.

America’s Got Talent (yes, my third post on this now) brought the LOL’s yet again this week with 18-year old Ashley Groff, who caused blood to shoot out of David Hasselhoff’s ears with her shrill, girly screams.  This chick was part of MySpace week, in which they found people to audition….on MySpace.  What a swell idea!

According to Ashley’s MySpace page, she actually likes to go by Ashley Catastrophy.  MAJOR OH NOES: her page was hacked and is now ‘under construction.’  I love that her bio reads: “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean that I’m a bad screamer.”  Awww….we know, sillypants.  There are clearly other reasons why you suck.

-Elise

ALL HAIL THE ONE MAN BAND.

Well, Tallan was a hard act to follow.  Last night’s new episode of America’s Got Talent featured this little treasure: Keg the Lone Ranger of Rock.  Leave it to Seattle to produce this.  He didn’t make it to the next round, obviously, but check out those high kicks!  I’m sure he’d be fun at a kid’s birthday party or something.

Maybe next time he should ease up on the guyliner…or, ya know…practice.

-Elise

MOVE OVER SUSAN BOYLE.

Well, it turns out not all of our youth is wasted on shitty music.  I saw this 9-year old, Tallan Noble Latz, totally rip shit up on America’s Got Talent last night and I just had to post it.  The judges loved him, and so will you.  I have to admit, when he starts to cry, I get a little choked up, myself.

Then I saw the guy that was on after him.  Umm…just watch.

GO TALLAN!

-Elise

VH1 finally aired the Rock of Love Charm School Reunion last night.  I had read a few weeks ago that some shit went down between Sharon Osbourne and that Mega C**t Megan Hauserman…and did it ever!  Well played, Ms. Sharon.

I love that bitch.  She can roll with RiB anytime she likes.

-Elise